So it's been about 2 weeks since the tour has started and I've been having a blast. For the most part. Pete and Ashlee have been fighting. She keeps picking fights with Pete in public places. I feel so bad for Pete. What Joe said is so right. She is not right for Pete. They may love each other, but love shouldn't be that hard. And of course I have a crush on Pete. Go figure right? To keep myself from thinking about him I've been spending a lot of time with Patrick. That kid is funnier that you would think.
It's a Wednesday night after a show and I am sitting on my laptop across the table from Patrick. We thought it'd be funny to IM each other instead of talking. We really were sad kids. Hey, we were entertained and that's all that mattered.
I checked my email and saw that I had one from my boyfriend Mike. I began to read it and I couldn't believe it. That fucking prick dumped me in an email! Couldn't even call me! I copied and pasted the shitty email into the IM window and sent it to Patrick. He read it and looked over our laptops at me.
"What a fucking asshole, are you ok?" Patrick had concern in his eyes. I had told him the entire situation between Mike and I. It was long and drawn out, but even though I knew this was coming it still hurt.
"I feel stupid. I mean, I should have known he was cheating on me," tears started to well up in my eyes and I took a deep breath to keep them back. Patrick got up and hugged me.
"Fuck him Hayden, you deserve better than that."
"Thanks Stumpy," I hugged him back. I know, my nickname for him is too funny, but I loved it and it always made him laugh. And this time was no different.
"I think that you're the only one who could get away with calling me that."
"I know, that's why I do it, because I can!" I smiled. I already felt better. Patrick always knew what to say. He was really really smart and knew exactly how to talk to people. He may be shy or quiet at first, but once he opens up, well you can't help but wanna be his best friend.
It was getting late and Patrick and I headed to the bunks. Andy was already passed out with one of his legs hanging out of the bunk. I gently slid his leg back into his bunk and climbed into mine. About 10 minutes later my phone vibrated. I always put my phone on vibrate so that I wouldn't wake anyone with it. I glanced down at the illuminated screen and saw that I had an IM. Guess I forgot to sign out. And holy shit. It was Pete.
clandestinepete: did i wake u
Hydn84: nope i had just laid down. whats up?
clandestinepete: i couldnt sleep ash and i got into it
Hydn84: sorry to hear that
clandestinepete: hope u had a better night than i
Hydn84: stumpy and i had a great time until i got dumped
clandestinepete: mike dumped u im sorry that sucks
Hydn84: yeah ill be ok tho
clandestinepete: good id hate to see u sad
Hydn84: thanx pete :)
clandestinepete: well u will be on my bus tomorrow so joe and i will make sure u have a good time
Hydn84: sounds good im going to get some sleep goodnight
I signed off and laid back down in bed. That was a little odd. I didn't even know that Pete had my screen name. Stumpy must have given it to him. He had been teasing me about my crush this past week. He caught me staring. Damn my wandering eyes!
The next day was semi relaxing. Ashlee left to do something in some other city and Pete seemed to be more at ease. Patrick and I were in the dressing room at the venue playing with this giant beach ball that we randomly found. We were playing a really unorganized game of volley ball with it when Joe walked in.
"Hell yea! Where did you guys find this?" He power slapped it across the room and Patrick ran after it.
"It was sitting on that table and we decided to blow it up for entertainment!" I said excitedly and slapped the beach ball back to Patrick.
"It took for fucking ever to blow it up too!" Patrick complained as he lunged for the beach ball. We were playing so hard that we were out of breath. Andy and Pete walked into the room and saw the three of us having a blast.
"Fucking sweet!" Pete dove in front Joe and hit the ball. Andy set down his beverage and we all were soon playing. It was amazing how easily entertained we all could be.
After about an hour of this the show was starting and FOB was getting ready. The opening acts were almost done and we all had work to do. Everyone made their way out of the dressing room. I started to walk towards the stage and Pete caught my attention. He was standing off to the side of the dressing rooms.
"Yea Pete?" I asked as I walked up to him. He almost looked nervous.
"I um, wanted to know if you um, would have a talk with me later. I've kinda got some relationship drama that I could use your help with," he asked me. Great, that's what I wanted to do. Talk to the guy I have a crush on about his longtime girlfriend. Yippee!
"Sure Pete, we'll talk tonight on the bus," I forced a smile. He smiled back and headed for the stage.
After the show we all piled onto the buses and left the venue. I laid on the couch with Hemmy and watched a movie. Pete came out of the bathroom. He actually showered. Wow! Pete sat down next to Hemmy and I and began watching the movie. We sat in silence for a little while before Pete started the talk that I didn't want to have.
"Do you ever feel like you do everything for someone and it means nothing?"
"That's how I felt with Mike our entire relationship," I responded.
"I'm just sick of putting in all the effort to compromise and make things work. I try to break up with her, but then again I'm scared to leave her."
"I don't know, I suppose because I love her. I also hate being alone."
"Pete, you will never be alone. You don't need someone who makes you hurt so much inside. You need someone who doesn't want you to change, who wants you the way you are."
Pete half smiled and looked down at his hands for a moment and then looked back at me.
I smiled and an awkward silence filled the room. So I half spilled my guts to him. Awesome, I can be so brillant sometimes. Joe walked into the lounge area and joined us. Thank you god for Joseph Trohman!
"You guys wanna play some twister!?!?!" He pulled the box out from under the couch.
"On the moving bus?" I laughed at him.
"That's the best way to play it!" Pete jumped up like a little kid all excited. I laughed at him and we all got up and began playing twister. The first game I spun and they twisted their bodies around. It was funny to see two grown men play it together. The next round was Joe and I. Being as high as he was, he fell like six times before he let us tell him he lost. Now Pete and I were playing. We ended up having a real competition. We were all twisted up and we were serious about the game too. Both of us determined to win. I guess there was a bump in the highway or something because we both fell over and Pete landed on top of me.
Being merely inches away from those full lips was torture. Pete gazed into my eyes and I bit my lip.
"You ok," he whispered. I nodded and Joe cleared his throat. Pete quickly pulled himself from ontop of me and helped me up.
"I think I'm going to go to bed, night guys," I said and made my way to my bunk. I climbed in and stared at the ceiling for about 10 minutes before rolling over to sleep. My phone vibrated and I glanced at it. I had an IM.
clandestinepete: i really wanted to kiss you earlier
Ummm... what? Doesn't he have a girlfriend? Well, they are having issues but still! I am in no way anything like Ashlee. I mean, I am blonde as well but that's about all she and I have in common. I honestly didn't know what to say back. I knew that I couldn't ignore it so I sent something innocent back.
Hydn84: thanks, but you have a girlfriend. goodnight
I signed off and rolled back over. What the fuck do I do now? I can't get involved with my employer, especially since he has a girlfriend! I really need to talk to Patrick.