They're just like that couple from Titanic, only no one dies!
Chapter Number: One!!!
Inspiration: Omigod, You Guys - Legally Blonde the Musical - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcmCMPLwfQ8 Best song EVER!
Notes: It contains my favorite writers, including:
Kristin (kristinluvspete) I was actually thinking about putting you with Pete, but then I decided he was going to be Elle, so now you can't be Paulette and the sexy UPS man xD
Betty (Me, GossipGirl)
All members of FOB
I own nothing, kthx! Do not take what's not yours, or else I'll tell everyone about how you had sex with your bestfriend's boyfriend... Oops. Too late ;]
He’s a lucky guy!
I’m like, gonna cry! I’ve got tears coming out of my nose!” Patrick said in an accented Cali-Girl accent. Oh, dear Lord.
He’s the campus catch!
You’re the perfect match!
‘Cause you’ve both got such great taste in clothes! Of course he will propose!”
Suddenly, Joe popped out of nowhere. “Dear Pete, honey, mazel tov!
Future’s taking off!
Take that ring off and show it to me!”
Andy pushed her... HIM, violently out of the way. “Four carets of princess cut. Are you psyched or what?”
But now all three girls were singing together. “I just wish I could be there to see,
When he gets down on one knee!
OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD YOU GUYS!
Looks like Pete's gonna win the prize!
If there ever was a perfect couple, this one qualifies!
OMIGOD YOU GUYS!”
There was a lot of uncharacteristic squealing and jumping. Caity ran past with a cellphone. “Shut up Pete? Shut up Ashlee? Shut up engaged?! OH MY GOD!” She squealed, running off the stage.
And this was when Andy grabbed a megaphone and began shouting bossily through it.
“Okay, everybody sign!” He screeched
“Good, now fall in line,
And we’ll start the engagement parade!”
Joe then decided to steal the spotlight. “Light candles and single file, don’t forget to smile!
Lose the gum Betty, you look like the maid.”
“Sorry.” Betty stuck the gum to the wall.
“Now prepare to serenade!” Yelped Joe, hitting an absurdly high note.
“Oh my god, omigod you guys.” Whispered Patrick, Andy, Betty and Caity.
“Looks like Pete’s gonna win the prize!”
“Shhh!” Joe hissed again as they crept towards Pete's bedroom.
But the boys couldn’t keep their excitement in check. “IF THERE EVER WAS A PERFECT COUPLE, THIS ONE QUALIFIES!”
“OMIGOD YOU GUYS!!!”
“OKAY, GUYS I'M SERIOUS!”
"Pete and Ashlee were meant to be!" Andy sung, holding one candle in his hand and tossing his absurdly long hair over one shoulder like a Cali-Girl should.
"Not once ever has he hit on me!" Caity nodded as if to affirm this, but then received a quick "STFU!" from Betty.
"There just like that couple from Titanic, only no one dies!" Patrick said, holding his hat in fear it would fall off even though it was super-glued to his head. Yeah, don't ask. It glued there a year ago because of Beer Bash Extreme.
Caity, Betty, Joe, and Andy all cradled their heads at Patrick's ditzy-ness. Is that a word?
Joe, who’d had just about enough of this silliness, snapped his newly-manicured fingers. “One! Two! Three! Four!”
Everyone lined up, almost robotically, and begin to sing once again.
“Band member of Fall out Boy
Soon to be fiance
Now that a woman chose you
Your life begins today
Make her a happy home
Restrict her Credit Card
And so she does not roam
Strive not to look your age
Still in your hour of need
Let it be understood
No woman could supersede,
Our sacred bond of brother....hood
"OMIGOD, OMIGOD YOU GU-"
“GUYS!” Yelped Joe from the top of the stairs suddenly. “He's not here.”
Well, that rained on their parade. Killed the mood! Popped the bubble! Okay, I’m done.
Anyway, everyone begin to babble excitedly. “That makes me crazy in my heeaaaad!” bawled Patrick.
Suddenly, a familiar Jewish looking English Bulldog scampered up. Patrick leaned down to it urgently. “Hemingway, where is Pete?!”
“He doesn’t have an engagement outfit?!”
“He’s totally freaking out?”
“He’s trapped in the old valley mill?!”
“Oops, sorry,” Patrick giggle-snorted. “The old valley mall!”
“Omigod, dress emergency!” Everyone shouted at the same time, gathering their numerous things. Namely, eyeliner... Wait... Does anyone else even wear that? Who cares...
"Don't take the freeway!" Joe shouted, glancing down at his cellphone.
"Hey, wait for me!" Kristin said in a sing-songy Cali-Girl voice. Woo, go Kristin!
"No one should be left alone to dress and to accessorize!
Oimigod you guys!" She continued, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder and following an impatient jew. I would know, I am one.
Omigod!" Everyone chorused, running for some German manufactured car (pst. Does anyone have a rope?!)
Meanwhile, Pete was checking himself out in a mirror. “It’s almost there…” he frowned. “But…this dress needs to seal the deal,
Make a grown woman kneel,
But it can’t come right out and say ‘groom’.
Can’t look like I’m desperate or
Like I’m waiting for it…
I’ve gotta leave Ashlee her pride.
So ‘groom’ is more implied!”
It was then that his fellow ‘sorority gals’ burst into the room dressing room. Geez, guys, don’t knock or anything. Still, pretty good timing for girls in heels.
Pete whipped around.
"Omigod, omigod you guys!
All this week I’ve had butterflies.
Everytime she looks at me it's totally proposal eyes!
Omigod, you guys!” He sang. Finally, we learn what Pete's voice sounds like, instead of that scream that sounds like cats dying. Er... Nevermind.
Joe ran up to Pete and grabbed him
“Love is like, forever,
This is no time to economize!
Omigod you guys!” And he was one to talk.
A sales lady snickered at the scene from her place in the shadows. “Druggy, thieving, hippy, global warming obsessed, band members make commissions so easy.” She ripped the tag from an old dress and crept forward.
“Excuse me?” She asked Pete. “Have you seen this dress? It just came in. It’s perfect for a... Person in a band like yourself!” She held up the sparkling pink dress.
Pete eyed it skeptically. “Right. With a half lip stitch on china silk?” He asked.
She faltered only for a moment, before smiling falsely. “Uh-uh.”
“Uh-huh,” Pete smirked. “But see, you can’t use a half lip stitch on china silk. It’ll pucker. And you didn’t just get this in, because I saw it in last May’s Vogue.”
The sale's lady’s jaw dropped.
“Oh my god,
Omigod you guys,” Joe, Caity, Andy, Patrick, Betty, and Kristin all snickered.
“I am not about to buy last year’s dress at this year’s price.” Pete snapped, with a z-snap for good measure.
“Pete saw right through that sale girl’s lies!”
“It may be perfect for a drugged up guy in a band,” Pete continued coolly. “But I’m not that much of a drugged up guy in a band. I may be in love, but I’m not stupid, Lady, I’ve got eyes." He laughed, pointing to them.
Yes, Pete, a lot of Stephenie Meyer fans/Fangirls noticed.
“OMIGOD!” Kit had walked in on the scene, and looked mortified. “Pete Wentz? Sorry, our mistake!
Courtney, take your break.
Just ignore her, she hasn't been well” She handed him a different dress.
The latest from Milan,
Go on, try it on!
It also comes in dark red and black!
It’s a gift from me to Feet!”
“It’s Pete,” Sobbed Pete. “You don’t even know my name!”
But before he could protest further, he’d been forced into the dressing room. With one impossibly fast costume change, Pete stepped back out, much to the delight of everyone else.
“Oh my god,
Oh my god you guys!” Sung Pete in a extremely feminine voice (no wonder Patrick's always the mic hog)
“This one’s perfect!
And it's just my size!
See? Dreams really do come true,
You never have to compromise!”
Omigod you guys!” Chorused the FOB sorority.
“Let’s go home before someone cries!
If there ever was a perfect couple, this one qualifies!
Cause we love you guys!”
“No I love you guys!” Gushed Pete.
“Omigod you guys, OMIGOD!”