I sat in the very front and when we all stood for the bride entrance, I caught a glimpse of a pale face with blue eyes, outlined by heavy black eyeliner and a long black hair, on my second take she disappeared so either I'm going crazy, like completely crazy, more crazy then my aunt Meredith or it's true what they say and we all have a twin somewhere in this world. It's all fun and games I just hope your twin won't ever meet Gerard, she can have Gerard's twin though as long as I can keep the real deal to myself. Yeah I'm kinda tipsy as you can tell, I'm giggling at every line I write but today I'm happy.
Where was I? Right...your twin, I think I was hallucinating cause nobody else said anything, and god knows that if Gerard saw her he'd chase down this person and scare her half to death, there's a lot of pale people with bright blue eyes and dark hair and I guess that because I spent so much time staring at your pictures my brain immediately portrayed your image. That happens.
The wedding was really nice, nothing too big or too fancy but nice all the same, I was jealous of Janet's white dress, I never got to wear one even though it was my childhood.
I used to dream a beautiful prince will come and save me one day on his horse and we'll ride into the sunset, just like in that snow white cartoon I used to watch over and over again.
20 years later and my prince calls me Skyler when we fuck and my castle is what was his and his beloved princess house, I'm the step sister that got lucky.
I didn't even had a white dress, we got married in the city hall, spent the night in some nice hotel nearby and by the time I woke up he already left for the cemetery.
But I'm not bitter or anything.
Gerard was one of Frank's best man and of course he mentioned you in his speech, it went something like this 'we gathered today to celebrate our friends wedding blah blah I miss you Skyler boo hoo' I swear it did.
I don't care anymore, he wants to spend his life missing a ghost he can, I'm done. I spoke with Ron again and decided to get back to work. I gave him nearly 4 years of my life, the first two we spent running around after clues, the other two we spent locked in the house fighting. I'm done.
I fell for the determined Gerard, for the strong Gerard not for the cry baby Gerard.
Isn't a husband should take care of his wife and not make her sleep in the guest room?
He doesn't need me anyway, he doesn't speak to me days at the time especially now that he got a new hobby, he picked up your photography equipment and all your notes and chemicals and he plays with it, taking pictures of everything and anything, he says this way he feels closer to you.
Ron says I should leave him, that I deserve more then shadow of a man but I don't know, should I?
I keep saying he doesn't need me but doesn't he? Lately he was doing better, I can see glimpses of the old Gerard sometimes and it gives me hope but am I being just naive?