soap isn't the cleanest person. neither is gabanti.
since many of you couldn't understand the Gabe-speak from the last chapter, here's a translation:
"What do you have planned for us today?" I asked.
"Epenz. i’ all ow oy ache?" (Depends. Is Fall Out Boy awake?) he asked, still eating.
"Probably not. It’s only 7."
"Eel ike i owing?" (Feel like pie throwing?)
"Mhmm. Ooh ha da ee, i?" (You have their key, right?)
"K. Emme us inish uh anish." (Lemme just finish this sandwich.)
"Alright," I said, taking a bite out of my sandwich.
TangerineSky - hehe. by the amount of exclamation points, i'm guessing that you really liked the last chapter.
glindapsawyer - this chapter will reveal sophie's fate.
SugarPlumFaerie - i make up the recipes in sophie's head. lol oh man, now i feel like watching goonies!
lil_chica007 - at my rrrglt date, there was some drunk guy going up and down the line yelling "YEAHHHH!...NOOOO!" while holding a cake. i kept thinking that he would throw it at someone.
snowqueendruscilla - i hope the translation helps.
RyanRossLuver - i really don't know how i come up with half the stuff i write. i guess it's a blessing from the hold cobra.
x_slowdown - i'm glad someone caught the line about his powerful vegan grasp. =P
xStabxMyxBackx - here's your update, yo!
InfinityOnHigh - aww, that sucks that you couldn't go to the concert, but i'm sure that you'll get another opportunity to see the cobras.
kittkattbar - your wait is overrrr. enjoy the chapter!
astrozombie28 - woahwoahwoah! congrats on hetting into the transition year programme! =DDD
now onto the fic!
33: s q u e a k y c l e a n
“Captive’s log, day one,” I quietly said, looking into the camera. “What seemed to be a harmless prank has turned into something far more serious. At 7:00 this morning, me and Gabanti ran onto the Fall Out Boy bus and attacked them with pies. Saporta got out safely, but I was apprehended by Hurley. For the past 2 hours I’ve been held hostage in the venue’s supply closet with a bag of their tour laundry. For those of you who haven’t watched Release the Bats, tour laundry isn’t just sweaty clothing that the boys go through. It’s sweaty clothing that Pete has decided to take a piss on. Yeah, I don’t know why he does it either. Jesus… I think I’m gonna be sick, but Dirty’s on the other side of the door with a paintball gun.”
“Hey, no talking!” he called, through the wooden barricade.
“I need to use the bathroom!”
“Well you should have thought about that before you stormed the bus with pies.”
“Fuck you!” I said, kicking the door.
“You wish, Matsumoto.”
I rolled my eyes and focused on the camera once again.
“My cell phone’s dead, so it looks like I’ll be in here for a while…”
“What did I say about talking, Soap?”
“What are you gonna do about it, Dirty? Shoot me?”
“Maybe I will.”
“Go ahead and try. Or are you too pussy?”
“Nice try, Sophie, but I’m not opening the door.”
As Dirty sat in front of the supply closet door, I was thinking up ways to break Sophie out of her stinky prison.
How can I lure Dirty away from the door? I guess I could look around for one of his Playboys, but that could take a while. Ugh. I wish Pete took me out for a walk this morning. I can’t think straight with my bladder almost bursting…
Then it hit me.
Smiling, I sauntered over to the man with a paintball gun and paced in front of his feet.
“What’s wrong boy? Did Timmy fall down the well?”
I barked in response to his mockery.
“WENTZ!” he shouted. “Your dog needs to take a piss!”
Not backing down, I started pawing at his beat up Adidas.
“Hem, I’m busy. Go find your dad and he’ll take you outside.”
I lifted my leg and he shot out of his chair, but not before I took a leak on his shoes.
“HEM!” he yelled in disgust. I looked up at him with innocent eyes. Without thinking twice, he groaned and started running toward the bathroom.
I pawed at the door, signaling that the coast was clear.
Realizing that he had left, Sophie cautiously came out and gave me a hug.
“Thanks, boy. Next grocery stop we make, I’m getting you pork chops.” With that she kissed my forehead and made a run for Cobra’s dressing room.
As Suarez and I tried to figure out how to free Sophie from the supply closet, she came bursting though the door.
“You’re okay!” I said, engulfing her in a hug. “…But you smell like ass.”
“I was trapped in a supply closet with piss-laced laundry,” she said, scrunching up her face. “Wait. You smell, too. What’s your excuse?”
“While we grabbed your stuff off the FOB bus, Pete somehow managed to get stink bombs onto our bus.”
“Yeah, he wasn’t kidding when he said it was war.”
“What’s our next plan of attack?”
“I don’t know. I was hoping you had an idea.”
“Hey, Stinky and Stinkier,” Nate said, as he walked in. “Coast is clear and the shower’s free.”
I tossed Sophie the duffel bag we retrieved then grabbed some clothes and a towel for myself.
For the most part our showering process was innocent. Naked, but innocent… Well at least for a little while.
“You what?” she teasingly asked, cornering me against a tiled wall. I’d always thought that she was sexy, but damn, this was sexy to the 10th power. She pressed her hips against mine and let’s just say that hot water wasn’t the only thing steaming up the mirrors.
20 minutes later, we were somewhat dry and smelling like fresh flowers. On our way back to the dressing room, we passed Ryland in the hallway with clothes and a towel in hand.
Noticing that our hair was still wet, he lifted his eyebrow.
“Wait, did you guys christen the shower?”
“Maybe,” I said with a smirk as Sophie chuckled.
“Ugh, guuuuuys,” he whined. “How am I supposed to take a shower in there after it’s been tainted with your cobra-making fluids?”
“Well you didn’t seem to have a problem with it at the last venue,” Sophie said.
“You… That means I… EWWW!”
His face twisted into disgust as he headed back toward the dressing room. Sophie and I high fived as we followed him.
As usual, I beseech thee to RATE, REVIEW, and or AIM me @ Disast3rous.
On another note, what do you kids think about Pretty. Odd.?