FicWad

Alrite people, another day, another murder, another bitch fit, another filler. Don't know how to summarize my current life any better. I found it a little hard to read the stories without pressing the ENTER button every now and then so now i think its a little better.
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Bed.
Bed.
Bed.
Bed.
Bed.

xIs that all you're gonna do for the whole night? Stare at it?
Possibly. What's it to ya?

Now where was I? Oh yes.

Bed.
Bed.
Bed.

Why is there only one? Why isn't there two? Why can't there ever be two? Why is it that the person who books our hotel rooms is also the cheapest person on this side of the earth? Why is it that my roommate had to be him of all people. Why-

I stop my mental rambling. I feel eyes on my back. Burning holes right through that space between my shoulder blades. I almost forgot that I'm not alone. I turn around slowly. Slowly as if this were a live game of Minesweeper and there were explosive devices woven between the synthetic fibers of the fabric beneath my shoes. My eyes meet once again with Brendon's. His. I feel uncomfortable saying his name now.

I now regret doing this because I've just signed myself up for another staring match. After a while I can't stand it anymore and I'm ready to attack myself with anything I can get my hands on.

Fuck. Where am I going to get the opportunity to end this. Or at least to take my eyes off his for a minute. Somebody, Jon, Spencer, front desk clerk, anybody. Knock on the door. Scream through it that it's not 9 at night but 9 in the morning and that it's time for us to leave.

I sniff through my nose and sit on the bed.
Singular form of beds.

He opens his mouth.
He closes it.
He opens it.
He closes it.
I count how many times he repeats this.
Six.
He takes a step closer.
Every muscle in me tenses up.
"Ryan."
I loosen up a bit, but only to prepare myself for my seven story fall out the huge window above the AC unit that I've been aching for.

Damn. Too late. He's already in front of me. The smell of him. Filling my nose. Blinding me for what feels like nine years but is really three seconds. The sight of him. Turning me dumb. MWAH! Goodbye 14 years of formal education. His stance. His legs in between mine. His crotch level with my lips. If only I could just unzip his pants and pull out his-

"Ryan?"
"Huh?"

Oh crap! I said something didn't I!

I bring my gaze back up at his face and off of.. where they previously were. He moves from in between my legs and sits on my lap. Do I even need to explain it's affect on me?

xYou're lucky he didn't notice, you horny little fucker.

"Ryan? What's the matter with you?" His eyes filled with concern. "Concern." I'm not sure I believe it. But then again it could just be my denial speaking.

"What do you mean, Bren?" I pull a skin tight smile which bears a little too much teeth across my face.

I quiver inwardly. Just saying the abbreviated version of his name gives me chills and gooseybumps.

"You know very well what I mean. I notice things you know."

xIf he "noticed things" he would've notice our little friend waking up from his nap in his Fruit of the Loom sleeping bag.

I snicker out loud and I get a hurt/scolding look from him. I'm sorry but you gotta admit, that was funny.

"Like I said, I notice things. Like, how you spend lots of time in the bathroom, how you don't talk anymore, how you don't laugh and smile like you used to. Tell me what's wrong. And please save me the bullshit."

The "smile" melted off my face and replaced itself with a pale Oh-God-please-tell-me-he's-bluffing. Is my charade over?

Hey.
I know you hear me.
xWhat.
Help me.
xHow?
Weren't you paying attention?
xYeah.
Then you should know.
xOkay how about this one.

"Alright. I'll tell you." A lugubrious sigh is sounded. "Some stuff's been happening in my family." My eyes start to water and two thin streams of hot water race down my cheeks. They don't make it to my chin before he wipes them from my face. My heart skips forty beats making it harder for me to breathe.

"It's just that.." I take in a deep breath but all that comes out is a dry sob. "I'm just trying to think. I'm... trying to.. get everything under control." I look up at him through blurry, drowned vision and his eyes are looking kinda like mine. Only his weren't watery but on the verge of it.

"Oh." He thinks for something to say. Before it can come out I beat his lips by saying "I'm gonna go take a shower now" and gently nudge his butt to get him off my lap. (I can't even collect words to help you understand how much that hurt my soul.)

I open the bathroom door and just as I step in he says softly almost as if talking to himself "But you're ok though, right?" I poke my head out of the bathroom and reply with a "Yeah" and another skin tight smile.

I lock the door behind me and face my reflection in the enormous mirror.

xYou're welcome.
Oh! Thank you.
xYeah, yeah whatever. Go shower I can smell you from here.

I smirk and look at myself one last time before I step into the shower. For some reason, some reason way, way back in the tiny, dark corner of my mind, I want to but even more, need to remember this night.
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Great, now that youre done reading how about you scroll to the top and click reviews, eh? Type in a nice little compliment for me and ill do something sweet in return.