Categories > Celebrities > Aerosmith > Precious
Steven got onto his scale and was ecstatic to see he was back down to his touring weight. But the ultimate test: He removed his sweat soaked tee shirt and looked at himself in the mirrors. He looked closely at his pecs, his stomach, his back; his arms-he was pleased at his results. He was toned, not really ripped like Joe, but he looked a helluva lot better than when he got back from Hawaii. Max had whipped him back into shape no time flat.
He also checked his face and throat, he’d been using firming creams at night-they seemed to be working. All in all, he was pleased with his physical appearance. He knew he was vain, but then again this was his livelihood-he had to stay in shape or nobody would ever show up to a concert again.
He took a quick shower, and dressed. He didn’t bother about calling-he knew Joey’d be around somewhere. He and April weren’t leaving for Florida until the end of the month.
A gentle snow was covering the road, it wasn’t bad, just a beautiful cleansing snow that blanketed the countryside.
Steven thought about him as he drove. He felt bad about how he’d pushed Joey away. Of course Joey baby wouldn’t be that shallow to hate him, but he didn’t want to do it with him until he was in prime condition. Joey deserved that-he wanted him to be proud of him, and not get tired of fucking an old man. He had to make it up to him-let him know how he was sorry for being so god damned selfish.
He pulled into the driveway, and saw Joe’s SUV. “Fuck.” He muttered. He got out, thinking now he had to wait to get rid of him.
Then he noticed that one of his many garage doors was opened. Joey must be showing off a car. He was always buying a new one and getting rid of another. He had learned how to nod at the right moment when Joey was going on about torque and engine performance. He himself knew enough about a car to get by, but fuck Joey knew the inside and out of high bred cars. He wondered sometimes if that's why he stayed in the band-just so he could afford them. They were so precious to him, sometimes he wondered if that was his life's goal: To find the perfect car.
He walked into the garage, his eyes looking for them. No one was there. He turned to leave when he saw Joe’s coat hanging on the peg beside the bathroom door. He couldn’t count how many times his coat had been hung there.
He frowned at it, and then noticed the door was shut. He walked slowly to the door and listened. His heart sank. His first impulse was to burst in catching them in the act. He couldn’t. He couldn’t move at all-he just stood there, listening to the muted moans and cries. He held his hand over his mouth-he was sure he’d be sick right there.
He somehow made it to the outside, and somehow made it to his car. He sat there, staring at the wheel, in shock. His mind was racing-how could this happen? How could Joey do this? How could Joe? How long had it been going on? His trembling fingers found his keys, and he tore out and sped back to his home.
He walked quickly into his new sanctuary-his gym. He numbly sat down on the bench and cried. Why would Joey become Joe’s lover?
Cause he was fat and out of shape. That’s why. Photographers always airbrush everyone so they look great-he figured he’s looked terrible for so long that Joey got tired of him and found Joe.
“Fucking Joe Perry.” He growled in disgust. “Fucking man doesn’t age, he just gets more chiseled.”
He looked at himself again, maybe he didn’t look so great; his fingers went to his face, slowly moving over his wrinkles. He pulled his face up with his fingertips, thinking for a moment that maybe a face-lift wouldn’t be so bad-he’s already had to have his nose worked on-to replace the lost cartilage from a decade of snorting coke. He shook the thought away. That wouldn’t help. He’d have to get a body tuck.
He lay on the floor crying again. As he stared at the ceiling thinking about how he’d lost both of them, he watched the gentle sunlight change from white to the pinkish and blue purple haze of dusk and then to total darkness.
There was a knock; it was Cassandra, his housekeeper. “Steven, supper’s been ready for an hour.”
“Don’t want it.”
She walked in just far enough to see him on the floor. “Do you want the light on?”
“No. Please just go.”
“You have to eat something-”
“What the fuck are you trying to do? Make me fatter than I am already?”
“Yeah wish I was a fat as you are.” She snorted and walked out and slammed the door behind her.
He sighed and thought about going after her and firing her on the spot, but he just stayed there. Cassandra was a nice lady-he’d hired her after Teresa left and he was on interferon. She was supposed to leave, but he talked into staying on. She was caring and the kids loved her, but sometimes she had a mother streak that was a mile wide. She always knew what was right, and she got pissed when you disobeyed her.
Joey and Joe. His mind instantly went back to them. He was certain he’d remember that sound for the rest of his life-the sound of them both coming. It was a horrible, soul crushing sound.
He thought about calling Joe, setting up a meeting at his cottage just to get back at Joey. Fuck the hell out of Joe just to get back at Joey. That would show him. He didn’t need him. He could do whatever he wanted to do. Fuck Joe, yeah he could do it.
He didn’t move as he thought. He went back to that day in Maine-the day Tom left Joe. That’s where everything went bad. It was his fault-this entire thing was his fault. Why did he let Joe fuck him? Did he want it to happen after all? He remembered how jealous he got when Joe told him about Tom. Why was he jealous about his happiness? He had Joey for Christ’s sake!
Was Joe Perry the great love of his life? He should have been with him way more than he had been-so much time was lost on this and that. Too bad they started out in the 70’s-the only way you could screw a man back then was if you were some artsy band, or deny it completely; nowadays this all would be OK.
He finally stood. He walked out and to his kitchen. He looked in the microwave and then took out the plate. He sneered at it and tossed it into the trash. He knew she’d give him hell about that. He just wanted to go to bed and try to sleep.
Now at least he was more comfortable staring at the ceiling in his own bed rather than staring at the ceiling on a hard wooden floor. He looked at the clock, but immediately saw his phone. It was so close. Should he call? Of course Joe was up, he was up most of the night, he never rose until ten in the morning.
He sighed, as he remained motionless. Why would Joe want me? He’s got Joey. He doesn’t need me anymore. Joey doesn’t want me, cause I’m a fat bastard. He’s got Joe. He doesn’t need me anymore.
He cried again, thinking about how they were both in each other’s arms.
He awoke to Cassandra knocking on his door. “Yeah.”
“Steven,” She pushed the door open to reveal a tray, “I brought your breakfast.”
“Yeah just put it on the table.”
She did. He was waiting for her to say something about last night’s dinner ending up in the garbage, but she didn’t. “Do you mind if I put your clothes away?”
“No.”
She left and almost instantly returned. She looked at him, then at the tray. “I made you a nice fruit cup for breakfast. Hardly any calories and packed with vitamins.”
“Thanks.”
“So what’s the matter?” She asked as she hung his shirts, “You’re usually a ball of energy moving all over the place. You act like the winds out of your sails.”
“Nothing. I just didn’t sleep very well.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Max’s said I’m over doing it, maybe it’s all catching up with me.”
“Max also said that you are supposed to eat. You’ll never gain muscle if you don’t eat.”
“Maybe later, after I shower.” He watched her as she put his shirts and socks away. “How long have you been married?”
“Almost thirty years now. Why?”
“You ever have any problems, like knowing if you should walk away, or fight for him?”
“Of course. Everyone goes through that.” She closed the drawers, “You and Erin having a spat?”
“Yeah.” Of course it wasn’t Erin, but close enough. “Sometimes I wonder if it’s all worth it, any of it really. When I was a kid, all I wanted to be famous, to have people remember me. And now, looking back on everything I missed, watching my kids grow up, missing birthday parties and holidays.” He shook his head. “I don’t know Cassandra, maybe I would have been better off being a nobody. Be just a regular jack off and not have to worry about how I look and who I’m with.”
“Then you would have been wondering if you should have been somebody. You would be wondering if you should have grabbed at the brass ring.”
“Maybe. But then maybe I’d still be married.”
“Steven.” She sat down on the edge of the bed. “You’re a wonderful man. Your children love you, your grandson loves you, and your band loves you-”
“Ha!” He involuntarily exclaimed.
“My point is, Yonkers wasn’t big enough for you. You had to go out and find yourself. Maybe you are a victim of your own myth, I don’t know. I’m just a housekeeper.”
“You’re a smart lady. Too bad I didn’t know you thirty years ago.”
“You would have liked me, I had a figure like Raquel Welch back then but I had eight kids in ten years and everything went. That’s why I don’t understand you when you got a twenty seven inch waist and you’re worried about being fat.”
He gave a nervous laugh then he felt his face fall. “Cassandra, what if I said that it wasn’t Erin, it was another person that cheated on me. What would you think of that?”
“It’s not my life nor my business. It’s yours. But anybody that makes you cry, and hurts you, isn’t the right person for you.” She narrowed her eyes at him, “Woman or man.”
“We’ve been through a lot though, good and bad times.”
“It’s your life Steven, life is full of pain and if you’re lucky happiness too. Is this person worth it? That’s what you have to ask and answer. Now.” She stood, “I have to go to the store, so I’ll be gone for a while. Do you need anything?”
“Naw. I’m good.” He watched her walk out, “Cassandra, thanks.”
She smiled at him and closed the door. He looked over at the fruit cup, thinking about eating it, but he decided to stare at the ceiling again thinking about those words-Is this person worth it?
He also checked his face and throat, he’d been using firming creams at night-they seemed to be working. All in all, he was pleased with his physical appearance. He knew he was vain, but then again this was his livelihood-he had to stay in shape or nobody would ever show up to a concert again.
He took a quick shower, and dressed. He didn’t bother about calling-he knew Joey’d be around somewhere. He and April weren’t leaving for Florida until the end of the month.
A gentle snow was covering the road, it wasn’t bad, just a beautiful cleansing snow that blanketed the countryside.
Steven thought about him as he drove. He felt bad about how he’d pushed Joey away. Of course Joey baby wouldn’t be that shallow to hate him, but he didn’t want to do it with him until he was in prime condition. Joey deserved that-he wanted him to be proud of him, and not get tired of fucking an old man. He had to make it up to him-let him know how he was sorry for being so god damned selfish.
He pulled into the driveway, and saw Joe’s SUV. “Fuck.” He muttered. He got out, thinking now he had to wait to get rid of him.
Then he noticed that one of his many garage doors was opened. Joey must be showing off a car. He was always buying a new one and getting rid of another. He had learned how to nod at the right moment when Joey was going on about torque and engine performance. He himself knew enough about a car to get by, but fuck Joey knew the inside and out of high bred cars. He wondered sometimes if that's why he stayed in the band-just so he could afford them. They were so precious to him, sometimes he wondered if that was his life's goal: To find the perfect car.
He walked into the garage, his eyes looking for them. No one was there. He turned to leave when he saw Joe’s coat hanging on the peg beside the bathroom door. He couldn’t count how many times his coat had been hung there.
He frowned at it, and then noticed the door was shut. He walked slowly to the door and listened. His heart sank. His first impulse was to burst in catching them in the act. He couldn’t. He couldn’t move at all-he just stood there, listening to the muted moans and cries. He held his hand over his mouth-he was sure he’d be sick right there.
He somehow made it to the outside, and somehow made it to his car. He sat there, staring at the wheel, in shock. His mind was racing-how could this happen? How could Joey do this? How could Joe? How long had it been going on? His trembling fingers found his keys, and he tore out and sped back to his home.
He walked quickly into his new sanctuary-his gym. He numbly sat down on the bench and cried. Why would Joey become Joe’s lover?
Cause he was fat and out of shape. That’s why. Photographers always airbrush everyone so they look great-he figured he’s looked terrible for so long that Joey got tired of him and found Joe.
“Fucking Joe Perry.” He growled in disgust. “Fucking man doesn’t age, he just gets more chiseled.”
He looked at himself again, maybe he didn’t look so great; his fingers went to his face, slowly moving over his wrinkles. He pulled his face up with his fingertips, thinking for a moment that maybe a face-lift wouldn’t be so bad-he’s already had to have his nose worked on-to replace the lost cartilage from a decade of snorting coke. He shook the thought away. That wouldn’t help. He’d have to get a body tuck.
He lay on the floor crying again. As he stared at the ceiling thinking about how he’d lost both of them, he watched the gentle sunlight change from white to the pinkish and blue purple haze of dusk and then to total darkness.
There was a knock; it was Cassandra, his housekeeper. “Steven, supper’s been ready for an hour.”
“Don’t want it.”
She walked in just far enough to see him on the floor. “Do you want the light on?”
“No. Please just go.”
“You have to eat something-”
“What the fuck are you trying to do? Make me fatter than I am already?”
“Yeah wish I was a fat as you are.” She snorted and walked out and slammed the door behind her.
He sighed and thought about going after her and firing her on the spot, but he just stayed there. Cassandra was a nice lady-he’d hired her after Teresa left and he was on interferon. She was supposed to leave, but he talked into staying on. She was caring and the kids loved her, but sometimes she had a mother streak that was a mile wide. She always knew what was right, and she got pissed when you disobeyed her.
Joey and Joe. His mind instantly went back to them. He was certain he’d remember that sound for the rest of his life-the sound of them both coming. It was a horrible, soul crushing sound.
He thought about calling Joe, setting up a meeting at his cottage just to get back at Joey. Fuck the hell out of Joe just to get back at Joey. That would show him. He didn’t need him. He could do whatever he wanted to do. Fuck Joe, yeah he could do it.
He didn’t move as he thought. He went back to that day in Maine-the day Tom left Joe. That’s where everything went bad. It was his fault-this entire thing was his fault. Why did he let Joe fuck him? Did he want it to happen after all? He remembered how jealous he got when Joe told him about Tom. Why was he jealous about his happiness? He had Joey for Christ’s sake!
Was Joe Perry the great love of his life? He should have been with him way more than he had been-so much time was lost on this and that. Too bad they started out in the 70’s-the only way you could screw a man back then was if you were some artsy band, or deny it completely; nowadays this all would be OK.
He finally stood. He walked out and to his kitchen. He looked in the microwave and then took out the plate. He sneered at it and tossed it into the trash. He knew she’d give him hell about that. He just wanted to go to bed and try to sleep.
Now at least he was more comfortable staring at the ceiling in his own bed rather than staring at the ceiling on a hard wooden floor. He looked at the clock, but immediately saw his phone. It was so close. Should he call? Of course Joe was up, he was up most of the night, he never rose until ten in the morning.
He sighed, as he remained motionless. Why would Joe want me? He’s got Joey. He doesn’t need me anymore. Joey doesn’t want me, cause I’m a fat bastard. He’s got Joe. He doesn’t need me anymore.
He cried again, thinking about how they were both in each other’s arms.
He awoke to Cassandra knocking on his door. “Yeah.”
“Steven,” She pushed the door open to reveal a tray, “I brought your breakfast.”
“Yeah just put it on the table.”
She did. He was waiting for her to say something about last night’s dinner ending up in the garbage, but she didn’t. “Do you mind if I put your clothes away?”
“No.”
She left and almost instantly returned. She looked at him, then at the tray. “I made you a nice fruit cup for breakfast. Hardly any calories and packed with vitamins.”
“Thanks.”
“So what’s the matter?” She asked as she hung his shirts, “You’re usually a ball of energy moving all over the place. You act like the winds out of your sails.”
“Nothing. I just didn’t sleep very well.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Max’s said I’m over doing it, maybe it’s all catching up with me.”
“Max also said that you are supposed to eat. You’ll never gain muscle if you don’t eat.”
“Maybe later, after I shower.” He watched her as she put his shirts and socks away. “How long have you been married?”
“Almost thirty years now. Why?”
“You ever have any problems, like knowing if you should walk away, or fight for him?”
“Of course. Everyone goes through that.” She closed the drawers, “You and Erin having a spat?”
“Yeah.” Of course it wasn’t Erin, but close enough. “Sometimes I wonder if it’s all worth it, any of it really. When I was a kid, all I wanted to be famous, to have people remember me. And now, looking back on everything I missed, watching my kids grow up, missing birthday parties and holidays.” He shook his head. “I don’t know Cassandra, maybe I would have been better off being a nobody. Be just a regular jack off and not have to worry about how I look and who I’m with.”
“Then you would have been wondering if you should have been somebody. You would be wondering if you should have grabbed at the brass ring.”
“Maybe. But then maybe I’d still be married.”
“Steven.” She sat down on the edge of the bed. “You’re a wonderful man. Your children love you, your grandson loves you, and your band loves you-”
“Ha!” He involuntarily exclaimed.
“My point is, Yonkers wasn’t big enough for you. You had to go out and find yourself. Maybe you are a victim of your own myth, I don’t know. I’m just a housekeeper.”
“You’re a smart lady. Too bad I didn’t know you thirty years ago.”
“You would have liked me, I had a figure like Raquel Welch back then but I had eight kids in ten years and everything went. That’s why I don’t understand you when you got a twenty seven inch waist and you’re worried about being fat.”
He gave a nervous laugh then he felt his face fall. “Cassandra, what if I said that it wasn’t Erin, it was another person that cheated on me. What would you think of that?”
“It’s not my life nor my business. It’s yours. But anybody that makes you cry, and hurts you, isn’t the right person for you.” She narrowed her eyes at him, “Woman or man.”
“We’ve been through a lot though, good and bad times.”
“It’s your life Steven, life is full of pain and if you’re lucky happiness too. Is this person worth it? That’s what you have to ask and answer. Now.” She stood, “I have to go to the store, so I’ll be gone for a while. Do you need anything?”
“Naw. I’m good.” He watched her walk out, “Cassandra, thanks.”
She smiled at him and closed the door. He looked over at the fruit cup, thinking about eating it, but he decided to stare at the ceiling again thinking about those words-Is this person worth it?
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