reviews are amazing.
Brendon began to drift off as I glanced at the clock. It was 3:30.
"Hey bren, what time is your show?"
"I gotta be back at 5," he mumbled.
"Come on then you have to get up," I said moving off the bed and to my feet.
"Why?" he asked bringing his head out of the covers. I laughed at how disoriented he and his hair had become.
"Because it's 3:30 and it takes a half hour to get to the venue."
He pushed his head into one of the pillows and let out a growl and he stumbled to his feet. He froze once he got off the bed and stared at me with a strange look.
"What?" I chuckled.
"SHOWER TIME!" he announced. He dashed like a bolt of lighting over to me. Scooping me up in his arms, he took me into the bathroom and set me on the side of the tub. Brendon reached behind me and turned on the shower.
"Holy shit," I exclaimed as I jumped back up into Brendon's arms. The water felt like sheets of ice slicing against my bare back.
"Sorry," he apologized with a sympathetic smile. He kissed my forehead and leaned over to test the water,"there, warmed."
We both cautiously made our way into the shower. We stood under the head of the shower and let the water run down our bodies. He held on to me tight as the water followed the outlines that our bodies made like a waterfall.
"Why don't you come tonight?" he whispered in my ear.
"I don't think that it would be the best idea."
"Why not? We don't have to tell anyone that we are actually dating," he began to plead," we can just say that we are friends."
It did sound tempting, being able to watch him perform. It was always exciting and sexy for me to watch.
"I just," he looked deeply into my eyes,"I just don't know if I could breathe knowing you are so close to me but still so far."
"Fine, I'll go," I smiled.
We continued washing up in the shower and Brendon repeatedly told me how happy he was and how much he loved me. We finished getting ready entirely and made our way out of the hotel. The sun, as usual, was ablaze in Florida and the humidity was too much to bare.
"Thank god you guys are playing inside." I commented while we were waiting for his rental to be brought to the front of the hotel by the valet.
"You're not kidding," he replied mindlessly.
"Something wrong?" I asked. He seemed like he was in his own little world.
"No," he replied unsure," well not really."
"What is it?" I asked taking hold of his hand and intertwining my fingers around his.
"I just," he hesitated, " I just wish that I could tell everyone that we are together, and that I could tell them all how happy I really am."
It broke my heart to see him upset and it hurt even worse knowing that I was the reason.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"It's not your fault," he reassured.
"But it is," I admitted.
"You didn't do it on purpose."
"You know I don't like keeping it a secret either," I began. He turned and look towards me, making eye contact and making it a bit easier to tell him what was next," so how about after I leave tonight you stay behind and tell the boys about us."
His eyes leaped open in shock.
"Are you kidding?" he asked with a smile.
"Nope," I replied with a smile.
"You know if you don't want to we don't have to. I can wait longer and deal with it. I wouldn't want to pu-"
I shut him up with a kiss.
"Trust me I want everyone to know. We shouldn't have to hide it any longer."
The car came to the front and we climbed in. In about 25 minutes we were at the venue. He parked a little bit away from the entrance.
"Why are you stopping?" I asked curiously.
"I just need a minute with you before I have to pretend that we are only friends for the entire night."
"Yea, but it'll be the last time and it's not the entire night. I'll be gone as soon as the show is over and then you can talk to Ryan, Jon and Spencer."
He leaned across the center console and nuzzled into my neck.
"But I don't want you to leave after the show. Can't I go back to the hotel with you?" he pleaded.
"Sure, but then you won't be able to tell them."
He huffed a bit.
"Fine, but we leave the day after tomorrow and I might not get to see you after tonight."
"You will," I reassure him," I'll make sure of it."
He brought his lips up to mine and gently kissed me. Letting our tongues slowly wrestle each other. When he broke from the kiss I giggled.
"What was that for?"
"I just love you and you are amazing. And I won't be able to do that for the rest of the night."
I just smiled and he drove the rest of the way to the entrance. When we got there Zack and Jon were outside and Jon was smoking a cigarette. I stepped out of the car without him seeing me.
"Jonathan Jacob Walker," I began as he turned around at the sound of his full name," when did you begin smoking?"
"MADDY!" he smiled and ran over to give me a hug," Brendon where did you find her?"
"Toy shop," Brendon joked," isn't she just the cutest little doll?"
Zack walked over and also gave me a hug.
"Adorable," Zack laughed.
"I was in town with Jade so I figured I'd come see you guys," I explained.
I watched as Maddy caught up with Jon and Zack and for once it felt like everyone was happy again.
"Let's go see Ryan and Spencer. I'm sure they'll be happy to see you."
I followed Zack, Maddy and Jon, respectively, into the venue and made my way to the dressing room.
"Hey guys look what Brendon found at the toy store," Zack announced with his dry sense of humor.
"Maddy!" Spencer exclaimed with glee and he retreated to Maddy from the couch. He gave her a big bear hug."Where have you been?"
"Hey Maddy," Ryan shyly greeted her as he approached her to give her a hug. I felt a pang of jealously, but reminded myself that she was here for me and that Ryan was probably over her.
"You guys go on in fifteen." Zack announced.
"Aw shit, we better get ready then." Jon realized.
"Come on Maddy, let's let the girlies change into their stage clothes," Zack joked as he lead Maddy out of the dressing room.
Zack and I made our way out of the dressing room. We walked down a hallway and just chilled like we used to. I heard the crowd screaming and chanting for Panic At The Disco.
"So, do you ever miss this?" Zack asked referring to the whole touring experience.
"Yeah, I do actually."
"I heard you were producing do you like it?"
"Yeah it's something that I've always wanted to do." Zack and I went on catching up. I missed our little pre-show conversations.
"Have you met the new manager?" he asked.
"No, I haven't actually."
"Natalie, come here!" Zack shouted towards the other end of the hall. A girl emerged. She had to be my age, maybe a bit older; but, she made me feel like I was the smallest person on earth. She was taller than me. I was only 5'2 and she had to be atleast 5'7, she had long blondish hair and amazing green eyes. She looked like a model, why was she a manager?
"Natalie, meet Maddy," Zack introduced us.
"Hi it's nice to meet you," I greeted as I reached out a hand for her to shake. There was something that rubbed me the wrong way about her, but I was trying to be friendly and not judge. She ignored my hand and more so me, she looked over to Zack.
"Zack are they almost ready?"
"Yes, I'm sure they will be out any minute," Zack replied frustratedly. Natalie made her way back to the room from which she came.
"Wow." It was all I could manage to say.
"Yeah she is a bitch. She makes us all miss you. The record company set her up here and said it was temporary."
After Maddy and Zack left the room we all presumed to get changed.
"When did you find out Maddy was here?" Ryan asked.
"Um when I talked to her over the phone she told me that she was in Florida and we happened to just meet up," I lied.
"Oh, cool." Ryan replied.
We heard excessive banging at the door.
"LET"S GO!" Natalie demanded.
"I really hate her," Spencer declared.
"Uh-huh" we all replied in unison. We all exited the dressing room and entered the hallway.
"Finally," Natalie puffed,"now let's go."
We made our way towards the stage entrance.
"Are we going on?" Zack asked as he rested on the wall across from Maddy.
The guys walked out. Zack and I were leaning against opposite walls and we turned to face them.
"Are we going on?" Zack asked.
"Yep," Natalie replied,"ready guys?"
"Mmhm," they all replied blankly.
"Ready Brendon?" she looked over at him with a smile.
"Uh-huh," Brendon replied mindlessly as he fiddled with his shirt. If this Natalie girl was trying to do what I think she was trying to do, then she was in for some trouble. They filed on the stage. Jon first, then Ryan, Spencer entered through a different entrance to get to the drum riser, and Brendon was the last to go on the stage. Before he entered the stage he flashed me a smile. They began with The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage. Zack stood in front of me, closet to the stage.
"Isn't he amazing?" Natalie shouted towards my ear.
"Who?" I shouted back hoping Brendon's name wasn't the answer.
"Brendon," yep that was her answer. "He is just so charismatic."
I nodded my head.
"So how do you know him?" she asked aloud.
"She used to manage the band and date Brendon," Zack answered for me. I shot him a glare.
"Oh," that was the last I heard from her for the rest of the night.
Brendon finished with his signature"Thank you, we love you, goodnight." Normally this was when Brendon ran off stage sweaty and exhausted and gave me a big hug and a kiss; however, that wasn't happening tonight. Instead, they filed out one by one. Natalie paid no attention to anyone but Brendon.
"Nice job tonight, Brenny," she praised.
I heard Ryan scoff and I laughed. He stopped next to me for a second.
"How obvious right?" Ryan laughed.
"Uh, you're not kidding. She has total skank vibes emitting off of her."
"Woah, back down killer."
"Ryan Ross, when did you get cocky?"
"I'm not cocky," he defended," I was just kidding."
"Man I am gone for 6 months and Jon is smoking you've got some new found confidence, and you guys have hired a bimbo as a manager."
"Eh, we're not all that different."
We all made our way back to the dressing room, Natalie included.
"I'm going to get going," I announced.
"Aw so soon?" Jon whined.
"Yea i gotta get back."
"Well, I'll walk you out," Brendon assured.
"You called a cab already, right Maddy?" Zack questioned being his protective self.
"Yep, it should be here in 10 minutes."
"Brendon you want me to stand guard outside with you guys?"
"Nah we should be good, no fans can really get back there."
I said my goodbyes to everyone and engaged in a round of hugs, Natalie made sure to make a get away before we had to confront each other. Brendon led the way towards the secluded back entrance. Once we were out of anyones eyesight Brendon grabbed on to my hand tight. He pushed open the back-exit door and he held it open for me. Silently, we made our way outside into the luke warm Florida air.
"So did you like the show tonight?" Brendon asked me, breaking the silence.
"I don't like Natalie."
"Well that answer was a bit off topic," he joked with a goofy grin.
"Brendon, I'm serious," I began to complain. It wasn't like me to get possessive, but there was something not right about this girl.
"None of us like her, we just have to put up with her for this tour and then she is gone. She is kind of like an intern, I suppose."
"Make sure she is around when you tell the guys about us," I mused," I want her to know that you're not available."
"Okay," he smiled, placing a kiss on my forehead. He let out an exasperated huff.
"What's wrong?" I asked studying his face.
"Your cab is here."
"Oh," I replied turning around to see is for myself.
"I don't want you to go."
"I have to, but don't worry we see each other again before I go back to New York and you leave."
"Do you promise?"
"Alright, I love you."
"I love you, too," I announced kissing his nose before walking towards the cab.
"Call me later!" I shouted to him.
"I will," he assured as he waved goodbye with a smile printed across his handsome face.
I waved as I watched the cab drive off. Okay time to go back inside and drop the news on the guys. I walked back into the venue and entered the dressing room. Zack, Ryan, Jon, Spencer and Natalie were all sitting around. Jon was texting on his phone. Spencer and Zack were busy engaging in a video game. Ryan was on his macbook and Natalie was reading a fashion magazine.
"Hey guys can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure" Spencer assured.
"Yeah, what's up?" Natalie asked as she turned towards me.
"Um, you guys know how Maddy was here tonight?"
"Well no shit man, obviously we weren't all imagining it," Jon laughed.
"Real funny," I huffed back,"anyways, I need to tell you all of you something."
They looked at me with wondering eyes. I didn't want to leave them hanging, but I didn't know how to get it all out. I fiddled with the ruffles on my button down shirt, realizing that I was still in full costume.
"Maddy and I are together again," I admitted.
"Dude that's awesome!" Jon jumped up and gave me a high five.
"How long?" Spencer asked.
"Um almost a month now."
"Why didn't you tell us?" Ryan asked with a smile planted across his face.
"We just decided to keep it private for a while."
"Aw that's so," Natalie began with a look of disgust and a fake smile stretched across her face,"cute, I guess."
I ignored her comment and continued to converse with the guys. We all continued to just hang out until we were told that it was cool to leave and go back to the hotel. We all filed out of the venue and into the black Yukon that was taking us to the hotel. I waited impatiently until we pulled up the hotel. I walked to my room in somewhat of a hurry, I was exhausted. I received the key card to my room. I made my way up to my room, opened the door and threw my overnight bag on the floor. I didn't even bother washing the make=up off my face or brushing my teeth. I hated that we had to wear make-up for the show. I stripped down to my boxers and climbed on to the bed and under the covers. I started to drift off to a sleep when I heard a knock at the door. I groggily pushed myself off the bed and stumbled to the door. I opened it up to find Natalie waiting eagerly for someone to answer the door.
"What's up?" I asked half asleep.
"Nothing just coming to see if you needed anything."
"Nah thanks, I'm good," I replied as politely as possible as I began to close the door. She put her hand out and prevented me from doing just that.
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"Positive, goodnight," I closed the door back over. I quickly made my way back in to the bed only to hear the door knock again. I angrily stood up and stomped towards the door.
"What do you want?" I whined loudly as I opened the door.
"Aw, you're sexy when you're feisty," she laughed as she wrapped her arms around my torso and I pulled her into my room.
"God, I'm glad it was you," I breathed in her hair," Natalie was here like 10 seconds ago. I'm surprised that you didn't run into her."
"She's lucky that I didn't."
"Chill Maddy, I'm not even remotely interested in her. In fact, I can't stand her."
"Well that's good to know," she calmed down as she took my hand and led me to the bed," how did the guys react?"
"They were really happy, even Ryan."
"Good, I sure missed them all."
She got under the covers and pulled me underneath with her. She reached behind her and turned off the light.
"Are you spending the night?" I laughed.
"Well of course. I did promise you that we would have some time together before we left."
"I'm glad that you kept your promise."
"Mmm, me too" she began to drift off as she snuggled into my chest.
"You tired?" I asked.
"Mhm," she mumbled.
I ran my fingers through her hair and kissed her lips lightly, then her nose, then her forehead.
"I love you," I whispered into her ear.
"I love you more," she smiled as she whispered back.
"No you don't."
"Yes, I do."
I figured I'd let her win this time. I pulled her closer to me and drifted off to sleep with her.