"I mean it’s like, I know your in there but I’m still talking to a big bump.I don’t know. On to something that makes sense.Are you a girl or a boy?”
“You know, it feels kinda weird to be talking to my stomach. I mean it’s like, I know your in there but I’m still talking to a big bump. I don’t know. On to something that makes sense. I can’t help but wonder. Are you a girl or a boy?”
As soon as I said ‘boy’ the baby kicked. I tilted my head in wonder.
“I hope you’re a boy. Actually, I’m pretty sure you are. I think it’s like a mother’s instinct or something. Don’t get me wrong or anything. If you’re a girl, I’ll love you just the same. Hopefully, you’ll look like me. Not that looking like your da- sperm donor is a bad thing. I’ll admit it. He’s your biological father, but the way things are going now, we won’t be calling him daddy anytime in the near future.”
I was quiet for several minutes before the baby kicked again, almost as if to say ‘go on’.
“You know, Brent’s not a bad person. He’s really not. He’s actually really caring and loving. He has his flaws. He was a little possessive of me and he was a little forceful when he wanted a kiss. One time he grabbed my wrist so hard and held on so tight for so long, I had a hand shaped bruise. I remember hiding it with one of Ryan’s bandanas. Your grandpa isn’t a bad person either. He didn’t mean what he said those months ago. He was just drunk. Right now he’s actually in a hospice. Something about blood poisoning. He was in one several years ago I think but he was released. Your uncle Ryan has wrote a couple of songs about him. I’d go visit him, but I’m at a high risk of getting sick.”
I wiped away several tears that had began to collect in the corner of my eye.
“How about something happier? Yeah. Your uncles Ryan and Spencer will be home in a couple of weeks and mommy’s boyfriend is trying his best to accompany me to our next appointment. Let me tell you about him. His name is Brendon Urie. He’s about 5 foot 8 and has dark brown hair and beautiful chocolate brown eyes. He had been my best friend for the past two years but two months ago we found out how much we loved the other one. He cares so much for you already. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was so scared. I mean, I’m 19 years old and just starting to take care of myself and then I find out there’s a tiny life inside of me. It was shocking. But never think for a minute I never wanted you. No, after the initial shock I was so excited! But back to Brendon. He took care of me when I needed looking after for the short amount of time he had before Panic went on tour. It doesn’t stop there. He tries to call me everyday and when he’s able to he asks how I’m feeling and then he has me put the receiver to my tummy so he can talk to you. I know, it seemed kind of corny at first. Actually it still does, but that’s just Brendon for you.”
I stretched out on the couch and let out a yawn. That was when I saw Julia and Kara, Brendon’s older sister, standing there smiling at me.
“Oh my, how long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough,” Julia said walking over to me and kissing me on top of my head.
“Your going to make a wonderful mother, Dani.” Kara said as she sat in the recliner next to the couch.
“Thank you. I certainly hope so.”
“And Brendon is going to be a great father figure to him. Does he really have you let him talk to the baby,” Julia asked?
I rolled my eyes and nodded, “Yeah. I’m really surprised though. I mean, Brendon’s been taking as much responsibility for this baby as I have. Well as much as his current location will let him.”
Julia nodded, “Brendon loves you. Every part of you. Including baby no name. I’m going to tell you something but I don’t want you to let Brendon know you know.”
I nodded, “Okay.”
“He told me this after the first time he met you. We were in the kitchen and he was telling us about how it was the four of them in your garage and you practically appeared out of nowhere. He described you as ‘a beautiful girl with stunning green eyes and an adorable laugh.’ ”
My eyes went wide, “Are you serious?”
Julia nodded, “I could tell he had just experienced something along the lines of love at first sight because he always talked about you. Constantly. He even told us that he thought Brent wasn’t treating you right. Something about he saw Brent almost force you to kiss him. Something about him begging you to give him a kiss and you wouldn’t and he grabbed your wrists and pressed you up against the side of the house. Is that true?”
I lowered my eyes, “Yeah.”
Julia shook her head, “You should never be forced to kiss someone. Even if they want one, they should respect you. I don’t care how long you’ve been dating. But I’m not here to lecture. That’s been on my mind for the longest and I’ve been waiting for the right time to let you know how Brendon feels about you.”
“Thank you, Julia. For everything.”
Julia smiled, “Everything’s fine. Well except for one thing. You need to get your butt off this couch and get some nourishment for you and your baby..”
I nodded and tried to get off the couch.
“Damn,” I muttered.
Julia and Kara laughed and they both helped me off the couch. As the three of us walked into the kitchen Julia asked me if I had any names for the baby.
“Fender? What about a girl name?”
I shook my head, “No need for one. I’m sure I’m having a baby boy.”