“I thought you were better then that!” she yelled before fleeing the room and running out the small crumbling apartment.
She caught up with me and placed her hand firmly on my shoulder, turning me to face her. I tried backing away from her but she tightened her grip.
“Emily, I can’t.” My voice cracked and tears threatened to pour from my burning eyes. Before she got here I, being the idiot I am, did a few lines of coke with Gerard. Thank god any signs of me doing so had gone away before she showed up.
“Maybe I’ll just ask Gerard.” She threatened. It’d make it easier on me if she did. I would be saved from the torture of telling my best friend I have done the unthinkable. I wanted to tell her to go ahead and ask Gerard, but I knew it would make matters much worse. But then again Gerard probably wouldn’t tell her. Either way, no matter if I told her, she found out on her own, or anyone else told her, this wasn’t going to end pretty. Matter of fact, this was going to end horribly.
I tried escaping her death grip once more but she remained dominate. Emily was taller then me and could easily control me with any movement. I’m pretty positive anyone could easily control me; I’m very small and weak.
Me and Emily stood in the narrow hallway just staring at each other. I had no other choice but to tell her. If I didn’t she’d probably keep me trapped in this hallway all night, maybe longer. As I stood there staring at her hoping she’d let go soon and figure I wasn’t going to tell her anytime soon; I heard the door open. I assumed it was Gerard and hoped he wouldn’t bother us. Unfortunately, soon after I heard the door close again, I heard Gerard head down the narrow hallway to hell.
“I’ll ask him.” She threatened again. I shrugged my shoulders and once again attempted to free myself. This time she let go and spun around to face Gerard. He looked past her and gave me a sympathetic look. I waited for Emily to interrogate Gerard about my secret. I knew no matter what Gerard wouldn’t tell her and sell me out like that.
“Gerard,” Emily said in her sweetest voice. I shot Gerard a ‘please don’t give into her look.’ He smiled and looked back to Emily.
“Yes?” He asked back in an equally sweet voice. Man, these two were pathetic.
“What has Frankie here been up to?” She questioned.
“Nothing that I’m aware of,” Gerard answered. “Why?”
Emily tapped her foot impatiently on the hardwood floor. Gerard is probably the only person Emily could never see past. He is the best liar I’ve ever met. Even to Emily’s keen radar for detecting bullshit, Gerard is the best. I sensed that Emily knew this as well, by the way she swayed on her feet and sighed every few seconds.
“He seems to be hiding something.” Emily stated turning around and giving me a death glare. I left my face emotionless and she turned back around.
“You’re just going to have to ask him.” Gerard said and pushed past Emily to his room. He walked into his room quickly and shut the door behind him.
“You’re only making this worse.” Emily said with her back still towards me. I could hear the aggravation and distress in her voice. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her into a hug. I felt her body convulse as she began to sob. I turned her around and held her tight. I knew how upset this was making her. She knew what I had to tell her was going to be bad, that’s why she was already a mess.
“I want to tell you.” I cried into her shoulder. “But I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’re hurting me now,” She began. “By not telling me.”
We both remained in the empty hallway and cried into each other’s shoulders, for what seemed like forever. Finally I pulled away and looked her straight in the eyes.
“You might want to sit down.” I told her and motioned her toward my room. She walked slowly to my room, her hand in mind, and I followed close behind.
I closed the door behind me and sat on the bed. She stood in front of me with her arms pulled tight around her body. I patted the empty spot next to me and she sat down.
“Before I say anything,” I started. “I just want to say, this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done and I understand if you don’t forgive me.” I stopped and waited for her response.
“What’d you do?”
“I’ve been doing drugs.” I said. The words flowed from my mouth and hit her so hard, I thought she was going to either kill me or just drop dead on the spot. I placed my hand on the small of her back and rubbed it slowly, trying to soothe her. She stood up and stood above me. She raised her hand and slapped me hard across the face. The impact of her hand caused my head to jerk back and I yelped in pain. I deserved every punch she could throw. I held my stinging cheek in my hand and stood up in front of her.
“I love you.” I said softly. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”
I meant every word that rolled off my tongue and into her ears. Of course no matter what I said would change what is going on or make her forgive me easily. She began to hit me repetitively in the stomach, chest and arms. I let her. Like I said, I deserved any hit she threw my way. After awhile she stopped and collapsed onto the floor. Her body shook as she cried. I reached down started to rub her back again. She sat up pushing me away.
“Emily.” I pleaded, warm tears fell from my eyes.
“I lost my family because of that crap!” She screamed standing up. “I thought you were better then that!” she yelled before fleeing the room and running out the small crumbling apartment.