And we can run, from the backdrop of these gears and scalpels
At every hour goes the tick-tock bang of monitors as
They stared us down when we met in the emergency room
And in our beds, I could hear you breathe with help from cold machines
Every hour, on the hour, they drew blood
Well I felt I couldn't take, another day inside this place
From silent dreams we never wake, and in this promise that we'll make
Starless eyes for heaven's sake, but I hear you anyway
Well I thought I heard you
Say I like you, we can get out
We don't have to stay, stay inside this place
Someday, this day, we kept falling down
Someday, this day, set the ferris wheel ablaze
You left my heart an open wound
And I love you for
This day, someday we kept falling down
One day, this day all we had to keep us safe
And if we never sleep again, it would never end
Well I thought I heard you say to me
We'll go so far, far as we can...
This is The Best Day Ever - My Chemical Romance
Beep... beep... beep...
That sound... it drove itself into my head like a sledgehammer... what was it?
An intense white light shinned through my eyelids. I wanted to raise my hand to cover my eyes from the annoying light but found I couldn't. Confusion was soon overtaken by a panicky feeling. I demanded my brain to make my hand rise, move, anything, but nothing happened.
It was time for me to open my eyes. I managed to do so with great difficulty, blinking several times while moving my head towards the sides so as to avoid direct contact with the light that hung above me.
Through my blurry vision, I saw white walls. White walls lined with machines of all shapes and sizes.
Beep... beep... beep...
I finally saw where the sound was coming from. I would've preferred not to know.
Gulping desperately, I looked around me. I was lying on a white bed with perfectly white sheets, slightly propped up by pillows. Tubes were connected to my veins and nose as they filled my body with liquids I didn't recognize. I tried raising my other hand to touch the tubes, but found it impossible. I looked around the rest of the room. I apparently had a roommate, also connected to tubes and awful cold machines. He was sleeping peacefully in his bed.
What was wrong with me? What was I doing in this huge white room connected to machines when just a little while ago I had been... been where?
"What the fuck is your problem? I was just out with a friend!" yelled Frank's angry face at me.
"You could've called, you know! I thought we were gonna go out tonight!" I yelled back, equally angry.
"And we are!Why the fuck do you think I've come to pick you up?"
"But Icalled you at home and you didn't answer, and now you tell me you were out with someone else when we already had plans!" I stormed across the room, not wanting to look at him.
Frank followed behind. "We DO have plans! But at night, and I just went out to get a coffee with Dave this afternoon! For Christ's sake, I'm not even late! Why do you have to be so fucking jealous over nothing?!"
I raised my hands to my head, frustrated. Frank stomped out of the room; I cringed as Iheard the door slam behind him.
Hours had passed. I jumped in my car and drove like a mad man down the street. I had only one thing in mind: Frankie. I had to see him, tell him how sorry I was, how it was all my fault.
We had many fights because of my jealously, but I couldn't help it. I knew I was an ass for always acting like I did, but I just love him so much! I worry when he goes out with others, even if he says they are only friends, boys and girls alike. What if, just what if, he goes out one day and finds someone better than me? What if he falls in love with someone else? What would I do then?
I crouched behind the steering wheel, trying to concentrate on the slippery wet road. It was pouring rain. The windshield wipers swiped the rain away but not quickly enough.
I stopped at a red light at an intersection, letting go of the steering wheel to rub my hands together. They were cold. Frank would warm them up for me, I thought, Frankie would make everything better. I saw the cars in front of me going in the opposite direction waiting impatiently for the light to change, maybe running to their loved ones just like I was.
Green light. I stepped on the gas pedal, easing the car forward.
I heard ascream; I woman on the sidewalk was screaming. I wondered why. I turned to my left and found the answer. A car was flying towards me. He was going too fast, why was he driving so fast? I heard the awful sound of his tires screeching as he braked. My eyes widened as I realized he wasn't going to stop. Too late, I thought, it's too late. The car slipped towards me on the wet ground. And that sound - that awful sound - was the last thing I heard before the crash. I saw another car going in the opposite direction try to swerve out of the way but also getting part of the impact. Don't worry, I thought, you didn't get the worst of it.
It was unbelievable how the apparently strong car crunched as if it were made out of paper and not metal. The sound was unbearable, the pain, suicidal. My small car flipped a few times and I prayed to God for it all to stop as I tried to hold onto the steering wheel as if it were my hold on life. I let go. Darkness came over me.
I was paralyzed. I couldn't move anything except my head slightly and my eyes. My eyes darted around everywhere, as if trying to make up for the lack of movement from the rest of my body. I had a cervical collar on. Was my back broken?
My eyes watered as I looked around the lonely room from the lack of comfort and information. Frank was probably at home, angry that I hadn't called or gone to see him. Iwanted him to be there with me more than anything else in the world. I began to sob. I tried to control myself for the sake of the poor man who was laying afew from me, but couldn't help myself.
My sobs woke the man. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him slowly wake up, looking around the room as I had done and wondering what was going on. He was apparently in better shape than I was; he seemed to remember what had happened to him and began repeating "Oh fuck" over and over again.
I froze. That voice. I knew it like I knew my own. But it couldn't be true, it couldn't...
I saw the cars in front of me going in the opposite direction waiting impatiently for the light to change, maybe running to their loved ones just like I was...
I saw another car going in the opposite direction try to swerve out of the way but also getting part of the impact...
A black car... just like...
Unable to breathe or speak from my sobs, I looked around the room helplessly.
"Hey, hey... don't worry, man. Everything will be alright... you'll see," Frank whispered to me from his bed, not knowing who I was.
"Frankie..." I managed through tears.
I heard him freeze, I heard him say in his head /oh god, don't let it be true/. His bed squeaked as he leaned upwards, trying to see my face. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. He had a cervical collar on just like me, but also acast on his right leg; that was a good sign. He wasn't paralyzed... like me. Isaw him cover his mouth with both hands in disbelief.
"No, no, no, this can't be happening... but how did you...? What happened...?"
I looked up at the ceiling, trying to control myself. I wish I could wipe away the tears from my eyes. "Car accident... the same one as you."
I heard him gasp. His voice gave away he was crying. "That was you? The drunk driver hit acar on the driver's side; he hit /you/?"
My eyes watered once more in response, making it impossible for me to see clearly. "I was going to see you, babe..." I whispered.
"I was going to see you, too!" he cried out desperately. He was now sitting up in bed, shaking his head madly. After a pause, he looked over at me sadly. "You... you can't move, can you?"
I bit my lip, trying to hold back another wave of tears. "What did the doctors say?" I choked out.
I saw him cover his face with both hands as he silently wept.
"Tell me. Please, Frankie."
He uncovered his face and waved a hand in the air in a helpless movement. "I was half asleep when they came in... they said, they said you're p-paralyzed."
Another pause."Your back... it's broken... that car hit yours /so hard/..." He began to sob covering his eyes again.
I knew what he was going to say but couldn't. I felt sorry for him.
"I'm not going to make it... am I?" I whispered. His sobbing grew as I voiced what he couldn't say out loud. Having received an answer, I said, "I don't need the details..."
Hastily wiping away his tears, he said with forced hope, "They could be wrong, Gee, they could be wrong. Doctors make mistakes all the time! You're fine now, see? You'll be fine, don't worry..."
I appreciated it, but we both knew the doctors were right. I felt cold, and thought for an odd second that the machines were transmitting it to me. If I could have moved, I would've pushed them away from me, I didn't want them near...
I felt strangely numb. "I love you Frankie... you have no idea how much."
Frank shook his head, realizing I was giving up. He began yanking the tubes from his body desperately. I wanted him to stop; he could end up hurting himself.
He dragged his cast off the bed and it fell to the floor with a /bump/, pulling him down with it.
"Frank, don't. You'll hurt yourself..." I said weakly.
His small face appeared above me. A sudden joy filled me as I looked into his hazel eyes that I loved so much. "The only way I'll get hurt is if you leave me, Gee... please, don't leave me..." he whispered as he wiped the tears away from my face. I was happy to be rid of them. He brought one of my hands to his lips and placed asoft kiss on it. A closed my eyes tight as more tears escaped my eyes from the regret of not being to feel the kiss.
"I'm sorry, Frankie... I'm sorry for everything..." I began, but he shook his head quickly and pressed his fingers against my mouth, making me stop.
"Don't, Gee, please. You have nothing to be sorry for... you're the only thing that makes me happy... you make my heart beat."
There was so much I wanted to say to him and so little time. I watched him caress my hand and thought how odd it was that any other day those movements would have me shivering with joy and lust, and how today they only made me quiver in fear and sadness.
"Promise me... you'll carry on, Frankie." My voice was diminishing as the seconds passed.
He bit his lip trying to control his emotions. Gently holding my face with both hands, he pressed his mouth against mine. Hope filled me as I felt his soft lips against mine, and his finger tips as they held me. I was thrilled to be able to feel his lips against mine one last time...
"I love you, Gerard, I always have, I always will," he whispered against my lips. I closed my eyes, wanting to stay in that moment forever.
"I love you too, babe..." I whispered back, meaning it with all my might.
He brought his head up a bit, biting down on his lip hard as he tried to fight the tears that were flowing from his sad eyes.
"Don't worry about me, Frankie..." I whispered, giving his hand a little squeeze, "I've gotten my wish..." It was getting harder for me to speak, my vision was blurring and Icouldn't even think straight. Everything was getting darker.
"What's that?"he asked, sniffling.
"I wished... for the last thing that I saw in life... to be... you..." And indeed it was. As darkness closed over me, I saw Frank's face over me as he squeezed my hand tight. Tears poured down his cheeks as he looked into my eyes intently. I saw his face lean in closer and felt his lips against mine just in time to give me my last kiss.
I was only sad of the fact Frankie was left alone and in agony. I was happy that I would be taken far away from the horrible machines... the horribly cold machines...
I had passed on to another life the best way possible: in the arms of my lover and with his kiss forever lingering on my lips.
...and I just can't stay, one day we'll run away!
I've had this idea for a oneshot in my head for ages, and have finally decided to write it. It came out a lot more depressing than I had initially thought. It shows my obsession and hate of hospital machines. They scare me, for some reason.
For those of you who are reading my story The Savior of the Damned, I'll update as soon as possible. I've been feeling a bit depressed so I couldn't concentrate on writing a good chapter for it. Maybe getting this oneshot out will help.
And this is actually going to be a twoshot. I'll write the next and last chapter this weekend hopefully, if I have time. Be on the lookout for it! ;)
Review and rate please, I'll love you for it xD
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