Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > It's not a side effect of the cocaine, I'm just like this so kiss my sass!2 Reviews
Kristin sat outside at the venue alone, writing. They were working on material for the album that Patrick Stump and Pete Wentz were helping them put together. Sure, they had songs that they performed, but not all of them were CD quality.
I lift my aching head from this strangers bed
the shame filling my broken soul
and like an addict tonight I'll just do it again
searching for something more
I settle for so much less
faux affection for temporary satisfaction
and left with nothing the morning after
I can't help feeling this way
bleeding for affection from the stab in my heart
the buzz from the alcohol dulls the pain
every night is a regret, a mistake
a reason to be ashamed to see my own face
Kristin felt someone's eyes on her back and she turned around. Jack was standing there. Kristin smiled and patted the seat next to her and Jack sat down.
"What's up?" She asked. She could tell that something was deeply bothering him.
"It's about Amy." He said as he stared out at the buses.
"I... well um," he stammered nervously. "What did she say about the other night?" He turned to face Kristin.
"Why?" Kristin smiled.
"I need to know. She's been acting all weird around me and it's bothering me."
"Why does it bother you?" She looked at him and tilted her head to the side like a confused dog.
"Because I'm in love with her." He said and his face flushed slightly.
"WHAT!" Kristin screamed and covered her mouth. "You do!?!?!? When?!?"
"SSSHHHHH!" He said and looked around. "I've loved her for like, I don't know, a year maybe."
"AWWW! Right after you joined the band!" Kristin was smiling brightly and hugged Jack. "Go for her buddy. It's obvious she has feelings for you too!"
"She does?" He asked hesitantly.
"Um, hello Jack, have you ever looked at yourself? You're fucking hot and you're a total sweetheart. Just grab her and kiss her; I promise she won't mind."
"Yeah because that's not crazy or anything." Jack said and began walking off with Kristin following.
"Jack and Amy sitting in a tree. k-i-s-s-i-n-g!" She sand like a little girl and skipping. Jack just laughed at her and walked off into their bus and she headed into the venue. Panic were in the middle of their sound check, so Kristin joined Amy and JJ in the front row of the venue to watch. They were singing Camisado.
"I fucking love this song," Amy said as she bounced to the music.
"Yeah me too." JJ said as she watched Jon joke around with his bass. "He's so funny!"
"He looks like Ray Charles with those sunglasses!" Kristin said and everyone laughed. She glanced over at Brendon and he smiled at her as he sang.
"Awwww!" Amy elbowed Kristin lightly. "Someone has a crush on you!"
"Well yeah Amy,she slept in his bed that night you hooked up with Jack."
"What!?!??! Why didn't you tell me?"
"We were too preoccupied with you and Jack."
"Yep. That was way more unexpected. Kristin and Brendon, totally not random."
"Well, I talked to Jack. More like he came, found me and brought it up."
"What did he say!?" Amy practically tackled Kristin for info.
"Was it more than a drunken mess Amy?" Kristin asked, not wanting to reveal too much.
"Well, yeah." Amy said as if it were common sense.
"Then talk to him about it, trust me."
"What did he say!?!?!" Amy whined and acted as if it were painful to not hear as she fell to the floor from her seat.
"Not telling," Kristin laughed. "He's on our bus, go talk to him and find out."
"I hate you," Amy stated for the record and headed towards the buses.
"Ten bucks says she doesn't talk to him." JJ said as she turned her attention back to PATD.They were done with that song and now just fiddling with their instruments.
"Probably." Kristin agreed. "I told Ryan about our dad last night."
"Really," she asked only half interested. She and Jon were flirting silently.
"Yeah, it was kind of nice to have another person to talk to about that stuff."
"I know, no one understands what we feel. They can say it, but they don't really mean it. It was such a fucked up death that I don't think I'll ever get over it."
"Me either," Kristin said solemnly.
"Pssst!" Brendon said into the mic and the girls looked up at him. "Any requests ladies?"
"Yeah, take your shirts off!" Jessica called out laughing. Brendon wiped the sweat from his forehead with his sleeve and shook his head laughing.
"Thnks Fr Th Mmrs," Kristin teased.
"Yeah, wrong band sweetie." He gave her a closed mouth smile. "God you girls are no help." He joked and they began playing Time to Dance.
"So you and Jon seem pretty cozy," Kristin stated as she watched them play.
"I think he's going to be my boyfriend, I don't want to bring it up though. I hate that talk."
"Oh I know, I never EVER initiate that talk. If the girl initiates it, then things can only end badly. I've noticed that you're better off pretending like you don't realize that the talk hasn't happened. If the guy likes you, then your nonchalance about it will drive him to start the talk. If they just want action, well then after two months it's time to initiate it." Kristin rattled off her dating logic. Kristin has been in enough almost relationships to know these rules as if it were common sense. Things rarely end well for Kristin in relationships, so she often avoids topics where she could get hurt.
"Yeah, I don't think Jon is that type of guy." JJ said as she watched him play.
"Me either." Kristin looked at Jon. He really did like her sister and she just hoped Brendon felt that same way about her. Her insecurities were creeping back up again and she didn't want to jeopardize anything.
The next two weeks flew by for them. They had been on tour for just over a month now and they were all busy. Patrick had been on tour for the past few days and staying on SD's bus to help with writing for the album. Pete was suposed to join them any day. Jon and Jessica spent every moment they could together. Panic had been doing a lot of interviews with magazines and radio stations, so their time was pretty booked. Brendon and Kristin barely got time together. Whenever Brendon was free, she was writing with Patrick or busy doing SD stuff with Friends or Enemies or absolutepunk. Whenver Kristin was free, Brendon was busy doing interviews and photoshoots. Thei relationship took place via text messages. Their situation still was left up in the air, neither one wanting to initiate the "talk" from fear of rejection. JJ, Amy, Jack, Kristin and Patrick sat in their dressing room at the current venue in some major city working on their first radio single.
"This song is great Kristin, nice work on the lyrics. We just need to get some work done on the harmony. Pete's going to help work out the music for it with you guys when he gets here. Did he say he was coming tomorrow or the next day?" Patrick pushed his glasses up on his nose as he looked up from the sheet of lyrics at Kristin.
"I don't know. He just told me to keep writing." She shrugged and looked to JJ.
"I thought he was going to be here today so don't ask me." JJ said and continued to type her text message, presumably to Jon.
"Anyways," Patrick said, completely bored with the topic now. "Jessica, we'll work on it tonight after the show. Amy, work on some beats for the drums. Kristin and Jack, you know the rest."
"Got it," Jack said as he strummed his guitar quietly. He had been doing this aimlessly for the past half hour or so.
"I'm going to call Pete and see when the hell he is getting here." Patrick said as he dialed and left the dressing room.
"Pete better bring Hemmy, I love that fucking dog!" Amy looked to the rest of the group to see if anyone shared her excitement.
"I know, that dog is the coolest kid in school," Kristin joked. She looked back over her lyrics for the thousandth time. She had to have each line, each meaning perfect and that's why it took her forever to write anything. She grabbed a pen from her purse and her phone before retreating outside to get some fresh air. Being cramped up inside a bus all the time makes you appreciate the little things, like sunlight. She sat down on top of a picnic table and crossed her legs indian style. The wind blew slightly and she tucked her long hair behind her ears so that she could actually see her writing.
maybe if my heart stops beating
it won't hurt this much
and never will I have to asnwer
again to anyone
please don't get me wrong
because I'll never let this go
but I can't find the words to tell you
I don't want to be alone
but now I feel like I don't know you
one day you'll get sick of
saying that everything's alright
and by then I'm sure I'll be pretending
just like I am tonight
Kristin was shaken from her trance bye a sloppy kiss from a very drooly dog. "HEMINGWAY!" She hugged the dog and he wagged his tail hurriedly as he panted. Kristin turned to see Pete walking up to her laughing.
"He just got so excited when he saw you that I thought I'd let him attack you." He laughed and she stood up and hugged him tightly. "How's tour going?"
"Good, I'm started to get really exhausted though." She said as she pulled away from Pete. "How's Ashlee and the baby?"
Pete's face lit up with the mention of the word "baby" and replied "Amazing."
"Great! I can't picture you being a daddy. I mean, you still try to injur Dirty everytime you see him," she replied laughing.
"Well I'm not going to shoot icecream out a tshirt launcher at my child."
"True," she said and they walked into the dressing room.
"Hey Patrick! I know when Pete's going to be here!" Amy called out to Patrick, who was not in sight.
"When?" He yelled back from what sounded like the bathroom.
"Now asshole!" Pete yelled back and Patrick opened the bathroom door.
"Oh, hey, I just tried calling you." He said and walked over towards Pete.
"While you were taking a shit?" JJ asked sarcastically.
"Yes, Pete loves listening to it."
"EEWW!" All the girls scrunched up their faces at this statement and the men laughed.
"Where's Panic?" Pete asked.
"At a photoshoot." Jessica said after looking at her watch, as if she were their publicist or something.
"Cool," Pete said and Hemmy attacked Amy, who was more than happy to see him. Kristin's phone rang. A smile played on her lips when she saw his name pop up. "Who's that?" Pete asked and Kristin looked up like a deer in the headlights.
"No one," she said and started to walk off to take the call.
"Brendon I bet," Jessica revealed only to receive a glare from Kristin.
"Hey," she said once she had left the dressing room.
"Hey, did Pete arrive yet?" He asked and she was instantly let down. 'He just called to get ahold of Pete, great' she thought.
"Um, yeah he just did."
"Okay cool," he said. "What are you doing right now?"
"I was hanging out with everyone in the dressing room. Why?"
"Come to my bus and keep me company. The rest of the guys are out eating. I didn't feel like joining and I thought I'd spend some time with you."
"Okay, I'll be there in a minute." She beamed and hung up the phone. She walked back into the dressing room and gave Patrick her lyrics. "I'm going to take a nap before tonight's show." She announced and everyone said bye to her. She quickly walked to Panic's bus and climbed in. She could hear a guitar being played in the back room, where she found Brendon in a button up and jeans, playing the guitar. He smiled when he saw her face.
"Hey," he said smiling and put down his guitar and stood up, taking her face in his hands and kissing her romantically. She instantly melted against his lips and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I've missed you lately," he said between kisses and shut the door to the back room.
"Me too," she said back and pulled him so that they were sitting on the bed. He continued kissing her, his hand holding her face gently against his as the kisses intensified. He leaned her back onto the bed in the back and laid ontop of her. She sighed deeply as his lips began a trail of kisses down her neck, his hands gripping her hips as he pressed against her. The feel of his excitement against her drove her absolutely insane, and she was driving him insane as well. Her hands found the buttons on his shirt and began undoing them. Brendon's breathing picked up and he kisses Kristin passionately. She slid his shirt off his shoulders and he leaned up, pulling her up with him. He kept kissing her and only broke the kiss when her shirt was pulled over her head. Brendon stood up on his knees and Kristin undid his belt and began to slide his pants down when Pete walked in.
"Oh shit!" Pete laughed and shut the door quickly. Brendon pulled his pants back up and began putting his shirt back on. Kristin did the same and they both just smiled at each other.
"Awkward," Kristin said. "My boss saw me trying to sleep with another one of his employees," she said and Brendon laughed.
"Trust me, Pete thinks of us as best friends, not employees," Brendon said and kissed her softly. 'I'm going to go see what he wants."
"Okay," Kristin said and put her embarassed face in her hands as Brendon left the room.
"Well, I guess it was you that called her," Pete laughed at the kitchen table.
"Uh, yea I guess." Brendon sat down across from him. "What's up?"
"When did you two start sleeping together?" Pete asked because he was annoyingly nosy.
"Well I was hoping it would start right now, but someone interrupted it."
"That was going to be the first time? Well fuck, get back there!" Pete said laughing.
"Yea, you just ruined the mood Wentz."
"I know, sorry. If I had known you were trying to get it on then I would have waited a little longer."
"Not really something you announce." Brendon shook his head smiling. "And it's not just for sex Pete, I really like her." He said seriously.
"I can tell, you've been on tour for more than a month and are just now trying to get her naked. I bet Patrick $500 that you and Kristin would hook up. He didn't think she'd go for you. I won!" He said triumphantly.
"You owe all of that to me for interrupting that," he pointed back towards the room where Kristin still sat.
"Whatever dude," Pete laughed.
After Pete left, Brendon came back to the room to tell Kristin he had to run and do something with Pete.
"That bastard," she joked in reference to Pete.
"I know, he so owes us." He kissed Kristin tenderly. "I'll see you before you go on tonight."
"Okay," she said and followed him off the bus. She walked into the dressing room and everyone began laughing. "Pete's fucking big mouth," she growled and left the dressing room.