FicWad

OK, let's see if Ficwad will allow me to finally review.

This chapter covered a lot of ground. You started off with Severus taking the first steps towards his own redemption, tentative though they were. You've also set up,through Z/Harry a means for him to have the isolation he would require for self-analysis. I was at first put off by his choosing Flitwick as a soundling board intil I thought for a moment and couldn't find someone better or less threatening. Snape doesn't react well to threats, he would become too defensive to see past it to himself. I am thinking that the big breakdown that Severus would likely need before reallizing he needs to leave will come at the hands of Luna. I can see Snape pinning her down and attempting to gouge out her new eyes in a fit of guilt induced rage because he can't deal with her seeing him as he is and for what he has done. You could have Z or Hermione, or even McGonagall break this up but I think that all it will take is for Luna to say that regardless of whether or not she has eyes, she will still see him for what he is.

I'm glad that Luna can see again, although a brown-eyed Luna is hard to deal with. You are setting up a believable relationship between the three of them.

Then you have the August Offering that you bring up here. We have Z freely admitting that he got involved in the war while Harry was alive. The question is was it Z already or was it Harry? Meaning, did Harry learn of this event in his original time line and come back in time to see if he could stop Voldemort here and therefore save his parents, only to be disgusted with himself, run away and become Z. Or had he already evolved into Brother Z and take on this mission realizing that he had to allow himself to be abused by the Dursleys, not to mention allow his parents to die, in order to defeat Voldemort ultimately?

BJH