I'll be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect when I started reading this. However, the end result was nice and some parts were even heart-stirring. My favourite part would have to be the love-scene, probably because it was told through the emotions of characters - Ed's in this case. And the final few sentences were just right to point out his agony.
One thing that I found a bit needless were the many abrupt sentences, even to the point of missing the subject (he, Roy, whatever). Maybe it was just me but, though I felt it worked incredibly well towards the end of the story because it showed the tension and the sadness, I would have preferred the first few parts to have a smoother pace.
Still, as I said, you did a good job on this. Keep it up. :)