I'd live, but feel truly terrible about it.
Pretty cool story, I love how you built up the suspence and emotion throughout, and ended on such a sick note (which, I'll admit, made me chuckle slightly). It was kind of strange how you set the story with the reader as the protagonist, but after a few sentences I got used to it and it worked really well.
One thing that could be improved was possibly seperating the paragraphs out a bit more to make it a little easier to read, it seemed a little squashed together and non-too-nice to look at.
If you make any more original fiction (especially horror), I'll be sure to check it out, cause you've got my interest!
Thank you bows And I'm glad you liked the way I put the reader in the character's shoes, smiles That's what I was aiming for.
And thanks for the advice as well, it seems to happen alot now that people review but don't be critical about it, I'll bear that in mind.
Thanks again smiles I'll probably attempt a sequel