cries beautiful..
but
everything was great... until i reached the end of the story.. but i guess thats how it is with all good stories: you dont want them to end. The only thing i see is that this peice was painfully to short. perhaps it is what you desired, but that was some great writing. Wish you'd flex it more by adding more parts to the story. :3 i was soo into it, and then it just stopped. ;_;