(#) hubem 2007-07-18
Also your story would flow a alot better if you integrated what you have in the brakets into the main text. Also as this story I believe is from Harry's point of view you should cut back on the bits like in chapter 1 where in brakets you talk about the lack of detail about harrys parents deaths not out of a desire to keep him ignorant but because hagrid didnt know. Harry wouldn't know about this thus I personally don't want to know either.