This is very nice. Part was a little confusing, but you seem to have changed the offending sentence. Also, the "muggle" names seem a bit... contrived. "Too" normal, but at the same time too conspicuous. But all in all, this is a well-written and funny piece, full of hilarious parallelism. Well-done!
Author\'s Response: Yes, I wasn't too sure what to do with the names, so I decided to go with contrived. The alternative was brand-new names, which would be confusing in the long run.