A minor point of little consequence
Luna's wording after she has her vision sound wrong if you take into account when her birthday is. JKR has stated that her birthday is on Halloween and it is weird for her to have just turned nine on august 17. Of course you are free to alter her birthdate at will. Its your fic.
Author's response
Thanks for bringing that up. I really had no idea when Luna's birthday is, so I used my daughter's birthday of Aug. 4th. I just knew that her mother was killed after she turned nine. Blushes. Sorry. I hope you liked the rest, though. Alorkin