i really liked this chapter. it makes me want to listen to 'take this to your grave' and i could write an entire blog about how that makes me feel.
the advice saffy's mom gave her made total sense. it was great. and i love that she showed up in her p.j.'s! calling the song 'where is your boy' works great. fiction is fiction, not everything has to be straight from fall out boy facts. :D
i'm sorry you've been stressed & stuff has been shitty for you. reading that almost made me change my mind about reviewing, but i decided i needed to say it. sometimes paragraphs feel overwritten. with words like 'algid' and such. and more description then necessary. a thesaurus isn't needed for everyday kind of words. for me it makes the story flow less.
but otherwise i love this fic.
Author's response
Well, I'm sorry to hear that you had second thoughts on reviewing. But, I'm glad that you liked this chapter.
Thank you for the critique, but I'm not sure it's going to change the way I write. I love using descriptions and when a story is lacking that, I may not enjoy it as much. I like to actually picture the scene, and that's what I try to portray in my fiction. But, I might need to slim down on the usage of descriptions. =D
I think the thesaurus is quite necessary. Every day kind of words can become boring and cliche, so to spice things up a bit, I put in more descriptions and vocabulary. So, I completely disagree with the feeling of paragraphs being over-written. I try to vary what I write, but I do admit that I can over-use some adjectives. I can't count how many times I put 'crimson-colored' in a chapter. =D
But, descriptions make the story flow more, for me. But, I do agree that I may need to skim down on descriptions. Too much can become boring. ;d
Thanks for the review. =D