You gave just the right amount of details about the avalanche team and their job. I know of a few writers who would have overdone it, drowning their readers in a sea of details (or should I have said "burying them under tons of snow"?), most of them irrelevant to the story. Good job!
It was nice to see Charlie doing his job. It was obvious something was going to happen, but when it finally did happen, it still came unexpectedly. And Charlie was great!
Ooooh, it seems May is attracted to Charlie too. I liked the scene with her father. I could empathize with her, lol. But I guess it was a good thing her father gave Charlie a nickname? Japanese witches and wizards, a whole set of magical traditions, and another dragon enclave... there is so much potential there.
Dragons are fascinating but dangerous creatures, and you reminded your readers of that in this chapter. But on the other hand, those dragonriders... ah, flying on a dragon... :sighs:
Very nicely done, Jim!
-Anne