You left a really rude comment on my first story I've ever written (that I was actually proud of), but I'm not as rude as you are, so I'll be nice and give good criticism. There were a few spelling mistakes, and I got confused since you didn't use quotation marks. But overall, this was my favourite story that I have read (though I don't know what it has to do with MCR). One question, it is two characters, right? Or does this guy have a split personalty?