Okay, I just saw this story and I have to complement you on an original point of departure for the AU and on a combination of concepts I don't think I've seen used together before.
I do agree that you need a beta and I offer my services. Drop me an email at Cateagle@engineer.com and we can discuss it further in private. As for that problem you mentioned in your A/N concerning why you were grounded, if having someone experienced to go over things with would be of any help, I'll offer my assistnace there, too. I've done tutoring and I am a degreed engineer (have been for over three decades) who can explain a fair bit.