So much happened here! I mean yeah she died! But Im gonna skip through all the OMG's and crap.
I think it was her mother. I do. You know that. I have maaannnny reasons. But I dont wanna go through them all right now. I honestly dont think that you gave any clues. Like Cranium said. I dont think the reader was suppose to figure it out. It wasnt a murder mystery. Robby says that shows how clueless sky actually was. That there was someone plotting her death and she didnt even know cause she always so seflcentered. I disagree. I see it as one of those things that just happen, I dont know if the clues were there or not. I guess thats something that we will see in the follow up. If there were signs or not. I mean hindsight is 20/20, but like I dont know.
The line about being suicidal and then gasping for air. That was pretty intense. But thats a basic driving force in life. The will to live, the desire to live, the fight that comes from nowhere. And why wouldnt she want to live? She had gee, they were moving into a house. she was finally happy. It was very sad.
I was also upset by the her praying for it to end line. I didnt like that. I mean I did, but I didnt. Thats not how I wanted her to go.
Now this is where we disagree once more. Rob feels like she gave up at the end. that is was typical of her character, to look for an out when shit got tough. That no where in her thought were fighting things. That she surrendered too easily. He says if you look at it deeper, it makes sense cause she was happy, thats why she wanted to die. Like to die when life was good, rather then suffer through more bad.
I disagree. I mean I agree she gave up, but I think that like sometimes its too hard to hold on. He says you have to no matter what the cost. I sorta respect how she let go. She did want to leave Gerard like happy. I dont know. I have so many conflicting thoughts on this. In a way it seems like his love wasnt enough. That if it was she wouldve held on and in other ways I know that thats just bull.
I really enjoyed the way you wrote it. It had a 3rd person sorta feel to it. Not so many thoughts, not so many actions. It was more reflective and it gave the reader a chance to imagine it which is better sometimes then trying to describe every detail. Just the sentence, "I wish Gerard would just kiss me goodbye instead of screaming for me to hold on." Paints such a vivid mental picture you have no idea! Its painful and thats great that you did it like that.