I don't know quite what to make of this chapter (aside from how much better it is than the Bolivian Army ending -- as entertaining as that chapter was). I like how you got Dumbledore, Snape, and Fudge canned. But the notion that Quirrell would have been remotely able to get the stone out of the mirror is so off, even for an AU story. Nevertheless it is a fun read.
Author's response
I don't blame you. I wrote it as a lark, and it seems to be the least favorite chapter of many people.
I thought that might happen, actually, while I was writing the multiple endings. That's why they were all meant to stand alone. It will have nothing more to do with the story.