FicWad

I can't respond to the original review I left, so I'll just write a new one. Believe me, you can't ruin a story by the summary. But if you don't write a halfway decent one, you won't get people interested enough to read your story.

Some people will take a quote out of the story and use that as their summary. Others will ask themselves what they would say if they had to describe the chapter in a single sentence. Sometimes it's really easy; sometimes not.

Like, for example, chapter one. You could say, "Ryan convinces Brendon to come out and play." That would perk up a few readers' ears (or eyes).

For chapter two, you could say something like: "A simple park outing results in tragedy."

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Another thing. Rethink your title. You most certainly can't use something like that for a title if you're serious about posting. Think about the overall idea of the story. From what you've written so far, could the story's title be something like: Healing Brendon.

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Now in an attempt to be even more helpful. If you've read other stories that have been posted, you may have noticed that between each paragraph there is a space. In other words, when you are writing do not hit the Enter key until your paragraph is finished. Then hit Enter twice. It makes it easier to read.

Remember that each time a different person speaks, it is a new paragraph. When someone is done speaking (such as "Let's go to the park!" Ryan said.) when the story bits continue, make that a new paragraph too.

Also, a lot of readers will give up and go away when they see everything's been written in lowercase. You know, capitalize beginning of sentences. Use periods. That kind of stuff. You'll be taken more seriously.

I hope this helps!!