A little break from Harry's pov? That's fine by me but don't let it happen too often. It's also pretty unbelievable that Moody would spill the beans on the prophecy to a bunch of students and legilimancy in this story seems a bit overpowered to me. Particularly the fact that Harry never noticed.
This may be a pretty negative review but rest assured that I do enjoy this story and can hardly wait to continue reading it.
Author's response
- You mean like he noticed when Snape and Dumbles had already been doing it to him for the last four years? This is fifth year, Harry doesn't know anything about legilimancy yet
- Moody didn't reveal the prophecy to "a bunch of students" he revealed it to the hyper-secretive Hufflepuff Council (with a bunch of students in the membership), that no one outside the 'puffs even know about. Even the relatively few 'puffs in the service of the Dark Lady (the DEs are a team after all) haven't told anyone about the Council...
- If people can buy the above silliness about the Ravenclaw Coven, then the Hufflepuff Council can pull the same trick.