I honestly wish that I could rate this up higher, but ficwad won't let me. :)
It's refreshing to see an idea come forth that hasn't been tried yet, and as I understand how hard that is, I applaud you. You show great creativity with this fic, and I look forward to reading future works of yours.
One thing I would watch is consistancy. The way Hedwig dictates the story changes from time to time. She doesn't seem to use a whole lot of contractions or "slangy" terms, but near the end she starts picking up both. Not slang like "Yo, yo, wattup yo," but more of the non-conventional english. She says something along the lines of "the relatives he's got" but that sounds a bit strange considering the way you've had her speaking throughout the fic. It's a minor thing, and can be overlooked, but I always make a point to try and find the little things. Some people appreciate it, some people don't. Either way, I really am looking forward to reading whatever you put out next.
Author's response
Thank you for your review :) I appreciate the critique, and I'll do my best to avoid that sort of mistake in the future. I'm glad you like the story :)
Chris, who doesn't recommend his other writings