Well baak, aren't you a bit of a fucking moron? Seriously, get a beta, lengthen your chapters, toughen up HP, lose the ghost and the sudden "ZOMG, I think I loves you's!!1!1" You'll have a story that's cliched as hell, but readable by retards, anyways.
Author's response
You know what! You've posted here before, and I think you are just a really rude and mean person who loves to mock people over the internet! It's cowardly is what it is!
If you don't like my work, that's fine, you don't have to read it. I can't stop you from flaming, and whatever, even if I get upset, at the end of the day I'm going to have a good life and you're alone with your computer!
But even if you flame me, don't come here and flame my reviewers! They have done NOTHING to you, at all! Also, funnny how only 'retards' read this story, and yet here YOU are - AGAIN!
Please, don't come back!