This story just didn't work for me, there was no cohesion to it - it was like 'this happened, then this happened, then this' none of which fitted together.
Personally, i don't think it's a smart idea having a main character in a fan fiction with the same name as a character in the original canon- that will almost certainly cause confusion, partuclarly as the name you chose belonged to a male character.
Madara was the co founder of Konoha - i.e. a very old man, therefore his sister will be equally as old, if not older. This means that although Madara appears extremely protective of her in the text, she will be at least 60-70 years older than Itachi.
The last time I checked Akatsuki were the enemies of Konoha, what with their desires for junchuuriki - considering the first hokage famously killed madara, what would possess him to so casually stroll into a hospital where konoha ninja are and address them???
Author's response
Madara treats Aurora Uchiha his granddaughter as a sister cause he basically raised her after her parents got killed so when Madara said sister he means sister-like. And Shino is a girl's name as well. Have you watch Maburaho there's a girl in there by the name of Shino. This is a what if story so don't like it that's your problem.