I definitely like this start, though I never read the original version. I do think, though, that Harry should be able to find a way to establish at least a modus vivendi with Vernon that suits both of their needs, though he may have to get a bit rough with wandless and/or runic magic at first to get through to him. Behind that, I'll be interested in seeing how you manage to unite/reunite Harry with Hedwig, perhaps someone could do a follow-up visit? In any case, 'twill be interesting to see what happens when he gets his magic unblocked and really starts developing.
It would be entirely in character for -this- Harry to not only acquire Hedwig, but another, snake, familiar and likely a magical one at that. Of course, revealing himself to be a parselmouth that early might cause problems, but the right magical snake familiar could also help with his parselmagic situation.