(#) BenRG 2008-05-25
Good writing. I really liked Remus' sins. You have structured it right to destroy any lingering sympathy the reader may have for the character - He had the chance but chose (and that is the killer) a path that caused suffering to those who should have come first. Okay, that silver-tongued old monster Dumbledore probably did a fine job of making it seem right but, in the end, he still had to choose to betray his friends.
It is pretty obvious that Daphne's 'breakup' letter was from her father. When Harry realises this, things will not be very pretty (for Mr. Greengrass, that is). However, this will probably not occur until after a hillarious and painful (for the participants) confrontation when they are back at Hogwarts.
So, Harry has now borrowed a plot device from 'Terminator 2'. What next? Flew Voldemort into space and flushed him overboard a la Alien? ;-)
I love this story and I'm glad that you have kept up the quality of the writing.
BenRG's Rating: 8/10
Author's response
- I thought I came up with about the most reprehensible thing that Remus could have done, but I've gotten reviews from several people asking what Remus had done wrong...
- The Daphne situation will come to a head, though not necessarily a resolution, next chapter.
- Actually I came up with it from pondering how to kill a snake quickly... I've read more about reptile diseases than I ever dream existed, and after sitting around with some buddies telling sea stories including one when I was topside on a submarine when the N2 plant vented into the water between us and the tender with a most spectacular reaction that the idea occurred to me to use liquid N2... The terminator ending never really occurred to me (truth be told, I've never seen any but the first in a single sitting.) It has been suggested that I have Harry introduce Tom to Tony Montana and let him say hello to Tony's little friends, but that's an old joke that so many in the audience might not get.