I like your disfunctional psychotic cracked-out Turks, well as much as it is possible to like a bunch of crazies anyway. Elena talking to her gun (which she got for her birthday) is frighteningly good.
As usual I enjoy Yuffie's attitude in moments of instence stress, such as when she suggests committing ritual suicide. Your description of the bunker is wonderfully depressing (it's funny how this story prompts these sorts of oxymorons).
Cloud's crazy-ass talk about the Heartless is very well-written. It screams of the crazy-ass game talk of people like Ansem, except with 100% less boring repetition and 100% more funny because he is also still talking like Cloud-on-drugs from FFVII too. I like his cryptic half-finished sentences. That's exactly what he did in FFVII. Who knew what he was talking about half the time? I love the way you write him, like he's just the poor crazy uncle who you only take out on holidays and who everyone ignores at the dinner table except to wipe his chin affectionately when he dribbles on the clean tablecloth.
Barrett and Tifa's fights are so good too. I like that Tifa is basically always doing the defending while Barret strings together creative curses and insults and boy are they creative.
I love Shinraopoly and leaving Cloud wedged in his corner and Yuffie's inventive flips of death and ninja babies with sideburns. I also love "I'm Having Your Baby . . . But You're a Turk!"
I must also add that you are really good at suspense and I like your description of Vincent's voice. Yeah, I know this review is sort of filled with gushing over the parts I liked. But this story is that good.