I admit that I've only read the books, so all I know about the characterization comes from that...but you seem to hit Lina and Gourry very well working in the 3rd person. That does seem the way that Lina would act around snow...and Gourry.
Author's response
Thank you! The anime is also pretty good and I do recommend watching it if you get a chance. The style is a lot different from the novels, but I love both versions of the tale. I do wish that novels 7-15 would be released in English.