Awe! Poor Brendon. =[
Well, first I'd like to say is that this first chapter is amazingly fantastic. :]
I like the plot you have here and your writing skills are lovely. :]
Constructive criticism? Eh...
It is a little short. =/
Nonetheless, it was a terrific start and I can't wait to read more. :]
Update soon!
Author's response
Thank you!
Chapter length has always been a weak point for me but the next ones should be a bit longer. =)