I'm really... disappointed. You responded to a review in the first chapter, saying you were working on improving your composition skills... I see some improvement, but not a lot. Hun, if you ever need a beta reader, email me at ther0214 at yahoo dot com. I'll be glad to help you out and give you some pointers. You do have a good characterization going, but I really hate to see fics posted that look more like b at 4chan than stories.