(#) Vanir 2008-07-27
Damn. I was hoping for The Talk in this chapter. Ah well, can't have it all. Nice bit of character-building here, and the Mad-eye review of McGonagall's actions was perfect. Now, while stuff happened in this chapter, i found the pace a bit low. While travelling logistics are of interest, it's not really something that keeps me on the edge of my seat.
On to suggestions. Have Dan back out of shopping and join Remus in The Talk. Have them pool their experiences and give the poor lad a clear one, without room for misunderstandings. I'd love for Dan to, with a pained face, give the poor lad a few technical hints because if they work on Hermione's mother, they should work on Hermione too and then blush ferociously. Damn, I'd love that. Let Xeno hear about it and give corresponding hints. MWAHAHAHA! Sorry.
Thanks.
Vanir
Author's response
Hi Vanir,
Some interesting ideas there with having Dan roped into the talk after all.. I can see Emma pushing him into that.. Then again, I'm sure Luna would probably join in the discussion as well if she heard about it.
I hear what you are saying about the pace, and frankly that's part of what held up the chapter - my desire to bring in some of the more 'interesting' plot twists.
The other thing is I'm fighting to avoid using cliches as much as I can. I know I've read so many fics about Harry at a will reading (for example) that there's not much new that can be written about that. Most times I just shrug and wonder why. Why is it that if the Potters &/or Blacks are so rich, with so many properties that they managed to end up as they did, without using any of their vault contents. I'm hoping to do a little better than that when I get to it.
Anyway, back to the pace issue.. in the end I reminded myself that the story so far has all been about the characters and their interactions/interpretations, rather than action. So that's what I've gone with until the story tells me otherwise. :)
Cheers,
Brian.
PS. I can't wait to use all the ideas you've given me for Sweden.