Over all, I don't like the way you've written this story thus far. It feels like it's gonna be a bad Pokegirl ripoff. But this chapter made me giggle in a place or two. Not the insane-slut-Luna cliche, but the mocking of Umbridge, and Moody threatening the idiot slaver was amusing.
Author's response
Well, my style is my style--I'm afraid that doesn't change overmuch.
I have very little notion as to what a Pokegirl ripoff would look like. Harry certainly isn't going to be using Fleur, Hermione, and Luna as weapons, if that's what you mean.
Luna is not an insane slut. She's a very unusual girl, for reasons which have little to do with the DSMV, who has met her loved ones rather early in life. Her feelings, at this point in her life, have little to do with sexuality and much more to do with the fact that she has decided she is a pet, this being the best way to remain close to those she loves, and has a particular notion of what being a pet entails.
I'm glad you liked the treatment of Umbridge and Harkness.
Thanks for reviewing!