(#) doc 2005-11-11
Interesting. I always like when stories jump right into the dialogue; while it's nice to read lengthy descriptions, sometimes I just want the wonder conversations. I like this so far. It's enough to keep me interested. My only criticism is your lack of double-spacing between the characters' dialogue; it would be easier to read if it was broken up a bit. Also, perhaps you can break up that lump of paragraph at the bottom? (Or maybe it's just ficwad messing with the format?) I certainly hope you'll be continuing this soon.