Pretty great story you've got going here. I decided to read it here instead of the 3 & 4 Part Harmony group, since I feel more obligated to leave reviews here.
I really like pretty much everyone's characterizations, though Mad-Eye is a bit too friendly for my tastes. Then again, I'm writing him pretty much the same way in a future story, so I can't really complain.
Looking forward to more.
Author's response
I always thought Mad-eye was an interesting character that most of fanon seemed to have ignored.
He's a famous dark wizard catcher - one of the best, so he's got to be able to think like them. But he's also been seriously wounded time and again, which we could probably assume was (at least in his own mind) due to not being vigilant.
I think canon paints him at least half mad, and not only because of his eye.
I'm not trying for friendly, so I need to work on my dialogue more I think.
Brian