Review for Summer 4th year Revised

Summer 4th year Revised

(#) FenrisWolf 2008-09-01

Good story so far; I'm hoping there's more coming, but it's possible this is intended to stop here. If so, it's more than a bit awkward unless there's a sequel planned.

As for the overall quality of the writing, both technical and creative, I'd rate it fairly high. Technically the errors are few and far between, and that's referring to both typos and grammarical errors. I did notice a few homonyms and pronoun errors (her instead of she, me instead of I, that sort of thing).

My only real criticism is a matter of style and personal preference, as I found it a bit long on narrative and short on dialog. I know narrative moves a story's timeline forward faster than dialog, but too much narrative and the character development suffers.

That's it for now. I hope this does continue, either as additional chapters in this story or as a sequel. Thanks for posting it.