Review for Griffon Reborn

Griffon Reborn

(#) Cateagle 2008-09-03

"You need to make a choice. Will you let fickle Fate decide your path? Or will you be her little plaything for the rest of your life?"

On further consideration, this line just doesn't sound right. I'd recommend "You need to make a choice. Will you let fickle Fate decide your path? Will you be her little plaything for the rest of your life? Or will you take charge of your life and do what you know you want and need to do?"

Author's response

And this is what happens when I edit my own stories and don't read it through properly.

Thank you! I have cut and paste your suggestion directly into the story. When I read it with the change, it fit much better than what I had in mind.