We quietly left Canter's, all blushes and small smiles. I wanted to hold his hand but didn't feel ready to, especially not in public. I kept looking at him as we walked, my eyes peering out from under my hair, hoping he wouldn't notice my admiring glances.
"Where are we heading?" I quietly ask, quickly looking over to him.
He looks at me from beneath his own hair, a tiny blush on his cheeks. So he had noticed me looking.
"I thought we'd go back to my place." He shrugs. "Hang out, jam a bit."
I nod and give him a little smile, excitement building in me. I'm happy because he wants to spend time with me, but I'm also nervous, wondering where it'll go from here. He strides off and I wonder why. Is he trying to shake me off? Or is he just as nervous as me? I trot alongside him, biting my lip and keeping up with him.
We twist and turn along main roads and alleys, eventually stopping at a dingy, rotting door. I nervously look up and the alley, half expecting some drug-crazed killer to leap out at us. Fingers brush over my cheek and I jump, heart pounding, before turning and realising that it's Izzy.
He gives me a little smile, before whispering, "It's okay. You're safe with me."
I smile, my teeth still digging into my lower lip as I watch him root in his pockets for the key. After what seems like a lifetime, he finds it and lets us in. A few splinters of wood fall from the door as he kicks it shut, my eyes widening as I watch. If anyone was to come after us, they'd have no problem getting in.
Inside, a narrow staircase arches above us and I quietly follow him, listening to the noises coming from other apartments. Arguments, hushed drug deals... fucking. It's not a nice place and I feel uneasy being here. I'd have felt uneasy anyway, but being with Izzy doesn't seem to help. I can't imagine living here and suddenly I feel strangely protective of Izzy. He's all alone in a new city with a sexuality that could get him killed. Of course it shouldn't happen, but it does. And, despite the confidence he likes to exude, he seems fragile and vulnerable, like he'd break if you dropped him. I wonder if that's what happened with his last boyfriend? He dropped him and he shattered? I watch him as we walk up the creaking stairs and my heart aches for him. I have the urge to just grab him, here on the stairs and hold him close, try and put him back together again. But I won't. I don't want to frighten him off and I also don't want to wind up dead. I'm too young to die. Too young to fall in love too.
We stop in front of another badly painted door. It looks like it was once red but with time and abuse, it's faded to an odd shade of pink. From across the hall comes the sound of squeaking bedsprings and load moans. I swallow and turn back to Izzy, almost ready to run. With a little smile that slows my thumping heart, he inserts a second key, pushing the door open with his foot.
Anxiously, I step inside and quickly look around. There's barely anything here: a suitcase of clothes, a battered guitar, a mattress pushed against a wall and a few trinkets from home. The walls are bare, the paint flaking and cracking. A little flurry of plaster rains down as the door shuts. I might not have the most perfect home life but compared to this, it's great. At least I have people to go home to.
"Slash..." The voice tails off as I turn.
He's there, standing in front of me, pale as a ghost and with hair falling in his eyes. With his dark eyes wide, he looks innocent, scared almost. I can understand the fear. Fear of rejection and pain. Fear of a new relationship. Fear of being broken.
Quietly I step up to him, again reaching out to stroke his face. His eyes close and a soft smile spreads over his lips. With my heart pounding, I lean forward and gently press my lips against his. I feel him sigh and a hand tangles in my hair, pulling me close. My hands gently slide through his messy hair, wrapping around the back of his head and cradling him to me. An arm goes around my waist, cool fingers sliding under my t-shirt. I let out a quiet gasp and I'm rewarded with the feeling of Izzy smiling against my lips.
Slowly, he walks me backwards and pushes me up against a wall, pressing himself against me as the kiss deepens. I have no idea what I'm doing. A week ago, I was in bed with my girlfriend but overnight my life's turned upside down. Compared to what I'm feeling right now, I don't know if I really loved her. Perhaps she was an easy way to get off? But is Izzy just another way for me to get off?
I shudder as his hands crawl all over my body and decide that this is what I want. He's kissing me like no-one's kissed me before, his tongue slipping into my mouth, gently caressing mine. I groan and open up for him, my cock hardening. I want to get to know every inch of this man, want to spend the rest of my life with him in my arms. He pants into my mouth, rubbing himself against me as his own cock hardens. Our nerves seem to be evaporating as he moves his mouth to my neck and gently sucks, marking me as his own. My hands rest on his head, holding him close, my breathing coming in little gasps.
I look over his shoulder at the mattress. I wonder if he's had others on it. Wonder if he's brought others home. He pants in my ear, answering my question, "You're the first since him..."
I pull his head up, my heart swelling with love as I look into his glazed eyes. His cheeks are flushed and he gives me a smile. A smile that seems to tell me he trusts me. I hope he does. I want him to know that I'll never hurt him, never break him. Gently, I slide my hands down his back and to his butt. He links his arms around my neck and softly kisses me as I lift him, his legs locking around my waist. He's so light, so easy to carry as I walk to the bed, kneeling and lowering him onto it. He looks up at me with a tranquil smile, eyes soft and hooded as he reaches out to stroke my face. I manage to smile back, the nerves coming back as I wonder what I'm supposed to do. I feel slightly sick, my erection waning a bit.
I shake as I say, "I don't know what to do."
"This is a first for me too," he replies, his smile never fading as he reaches up to kisses me.
My hands shyly creep beneath his shirt as we kiss, stroking the velvety soft skin of his chest. He lets out a little sigh and whispers, "Play with me Slash."
It seems he wants nothing more at the moment, nothing more than someone to touch him and make him feel special again. His hips thrust up as my fingers glide over his nipples, urging me to grind down against him. I do, my cock springing back to life as I feel him squirm beneath me. I sit back, knowing now what I need to do. Reaching out, I carefully undo his jeans, sliding them down his skinny, pale legs. My breath hitches as his cock springs free. I've never seen another guy naked before, especially not this close. I feel Izzy's hands come to rest on my hips and I look at him, watching, as he pushes my t-shirt up and over my head. I tremble as his hands sweep over my skin, making my cock twitch. I move and lie beside him, sliding one hand beneath his head, the other sliding down his slender body to touch his cock.
Shaking, I brush my fingers over the head, feeling it twitch and listening to him gasp. His arms wrap around me and pull me close as I grasp his cock and timidly begin to stroke it. Izzy buries his hands in my hair and kisses me as he bucks into my hand, moaning and shivering beneath me. His mouth finds mine and he kisses me, clinging to me like he's drowning. I am drowning, drowning in his beauty and in the warm feelings that wash over me.
With my confidence growing, I stroke him faster, gripping his cock as I sweep my thumb over the head, feeling the sticky precum smear beneath my fingers. It coats his smooth cock, making it easier for me to tease him. He trembles as he presses himself close, panting into my mouth. Quietly Izzy whispers my name over and over, hands tightening in my hair as he gets closer. Suddenly his body stiffens and he cries my name into my mouth as his come fills my hand, spraying over my stomach.
Quickly, and slightly shocked, I pull my hand away, wiping it on my trousers. I hadn't expected such a reaction. Sure, I've jacked off since I discovered what my cock was for. But I've never seen another guy come, especially not all over me. Biting my lip, I look at him for reassurance, reassurance that I've done something right. Izzy smiles and pulls me to him, kissing me hard. Our lips are bruised but I don't care. I need him and he seems to need me.
I look at him, my eyes wide and my cock straining in my jeans, wanting attention. As we kiss, I slide my hand between our bodies and force it into my jeans. Grabbing my cock, I furiously begin to jerk off, my tongue probing Izzy's mouth as I hold him close, feeling his soft, lean body against mine. He must have felt my ferocious stroking because he pulls away and pushes me down, hovering over me.
With my heart in my throat, I watch as he pulls my hand out of my jeans, kissing my fingers in the same way he had at the deli. Pressing a final kiss to my lips, he slides down my body, kissing and licking his way down my chest and stomach and to my jeans. Izzy glances up at me as he dips his tongue into my navel. I shiver beneath his touches, nervous at the unknown, nervous at what he's going to do to me. I watch as he undoes my jeans and slides them down, releasing my aching erection. Timidly I spread my legs, giving him better access to my cock. Slyly, and almost shyly, Izzy gently licks at the head. I moan and squirm. His gentle lapping is doing amazing things to me. I've never had someone suck my cock before and Izzy seems to sense this as he slowly slides his mouth over my cock. He's taking it slowly, which is just what I want. I don't want to rush this. Don't want to rush the first moments of a new experience.
I look down and am almost shocked out of my euphoric state as I connect with Izzy's dark eyes. He smiles around my cock as he watches my reactions. Reaching out, I gently stroke his hair, encouraging and urging him on. His mouth tightens around my cock and I jump as his fingers shyly touch my balls. I groan and arch my back off the bed, my fingers tightening in his hair. His tongue easily slides along my cock, feeling and tasting it. He's becoming more confident and I can tell that he's done this before. Of course he has. He's had a boyfriend. I'm the virgin in this relationship, the straight guy who's found himself in love with another man. Yet it doesn't seem as unnatural as I thought it would. In fact, it seems perfectly natural to me. Perfectly natural to have this beautiful guy between my legs.
A tingle shoots down my spine and I scream as I come down his throat. His mouth still works at my cock, milking me dry before he slides back up me. Lying on top of me, he kisses me, giving me a taste of myself. I tangle my fingers in his hair and kiss him, holding him close, spiralling away in a warm cloud of love. I love these new feelings, love the feeling of having him lie on top of me, beautiful skin on skin contact.
Eventually, Izzy slides off me and curls beside me, smiling up at me as he rests his head against my shoulder. He pulls a dirty blanket over us and I wrap my arms around him, pulling him close to me. His eyes go wide, an innocence floating into them.
"Please don't go Slash," Izzy whispers, nibbling his lip.
I shake my head and press a gentle kiss to his forehead. "I'm not going anywhere. Not unless you want me to."
Arms wrap tightly around my waist and hold me close, a desperate plea to keep me there. I completely understand that he doesn't want me to go. I never want to leave. Resting my head on top of his, I watch as his fear disappears and he begins to relax. Finally he falls asleep, breathing soft and quiet. Feeling loved, I finally join him, dreams of happiness dancing through my mind. For the first time in my life I'm in love, really, truly in love.