FicWad

Hi there,

BTW I read and reviewed the previous update so I don't know what happened to it.

Hmmmm.

Actually I liked the other update better the dialogue between Ray and Mary seemed more earnest. I loved how he was remembering how it was when they were young. More caring about his friends and giving her something to think about.

This time Ray okay whatever.

At the of this one it seemed like Ray was hitting on her.

Last time you told how much each of them cared. Gerard going bezerk because he knows he has to move on but is still in love with Mary. You still sort of get that because of all the chapters leading up to that was so focused on Gerard.

The other one you got into Bob's heart and soul a little more about how when an things don't go the way an optimist hopes how his world crashes around him, and that's whats happening to Bob instead he sounds like he doesn't care and I don't know stalkerish. And if that's the case then Gerard, even though he's lied and cheated on her numerous times is the one she should pick. At least his is a need and not an obsseeion. One simple picture on the night stand would have shown that she's the last thing he sees before he goes to sleep and the first thing he sees when he wakes up. Now he sounds like a love sick teenager with the latest celebrity crush plastered over his walls instead of a grown man who is deeply in love. And if that's the case then maybe she does deserve to be with Gerard.

Also her questioning how Bob feels about him really feels out of place since he did ask her to come back to him and not only that was willing to give up everyting to be with her in Australia. If that isn't love, what is?

It's too bad that you didn't think the other chapter posted. I really loved that one and everyone came off looking good and you really felt for her, I especially loved Ray's line about choosing who she wanted as a cherished friend and the one she really loves. Instead of the Indiana Jones' third movie tag line of 'choose wisely'. Only Mary and as usual Gerard come off good in this chapter. Gerard does because you spent the last ten chapters painting how Gerard feels, and barely a blurb how Bob feels and you wonder why we think she'll and up with Gerard?

I really understand that you have a lot on your plate right now. That ass who if he didn't play great guitar and doesn't deserve you. Your exams and the fact that you are not staying at home. Take a deep breath think where you want to go with the story go back and read your last ten chapters and in the end if it was Bob she is supposed to be with we need to know how he really feels and more so how she really feels about him. Right now I wouldn't want her to end up with him at all and I love Bob and thought until this chapter that his love was pure, now it's creepy.

I'm gonna shut up now. Please take this as it is meant to be, constructive. I really loved everything about the update this replaced and this fell so flat compared to that one. Even the the smallest thing like Ray tracing the graffitti on the table as he was talking was something I could picture. I can't even imagine the turmoil your life is in right now but if you ever want someone to be a sounding board, just e-mail me shyniemac@yahoo.com. BTW I think I have a way of getting Bob from being stalkerish and a teenager, if you're interested.

Good Luck with everything and looking forward to reading more.