I noticed something about one line:
"I’m gonna go crazy and end up like, shooting the whole world down.”
THAT is totally something Gee would say, bless his twisted little mind.
I don't know HOW you do it. I'm trying to write a story and so far Gee and Mikey are so out-of-character. sigh I shall keep trying. Unless you want to beta for me or something...kicks ground casually...y'know, just a suggestion...(please?)
Author's response
Ha, thank you. Well, I don't really try to write anybody in character really...Like Gerard, I dunno, people say I write him well, but it's not like I try. I just try to write down MY thoughts you know? and if Gerard seems like someone who would think the same thing, then well...fuck yeah!
And sure, beta-ing is fun.