ITs good so far... I dont think anyone in the British wizarding world called their friends "chicka" though. PLease Please continue to write! This has the possibility of becoming a great piece of fan fiction, if you do it right. Keep the smut level down, and stay focused on the story, dont sidetrack it with a bunch of unimportant side side plots. Some are good, but people tend to write so many they forget what they started with. Do you have a beta??? YOu are really good with your editing, but a good beta is a must. I have an opening for another story, I could do it. Let me know. Tara Cassidy
tarazboyz at yahoo (dot) com
PS- also my husband of 5 years just walked out on me and our two sons for some tramp, I could throw in some good ideas...
Author's response
Thanks so much I'm glad u liked it. Your review made my day cuz nobody seems to like my stories on this website. But on other websites I do great. That would be fantastic if you would beta read for me. If you want to give me ideas that's fine, if you want to share that. I'm sorry that happened that's horrible.