Oh wow, the mood and descriptions in that were great! Very moving writing. Poor Yondaime... I love how... human you wrote him. The fact that he gets panicky over his wife and child... and then feels bad about it, since he's Hokage and has the entire village to think about...
It really got to me. Wonderful characterizations. A little off on the details in parts, but that's what artistic licence is for. :)
I hope you write more of this soon.