Overall, the story is well written in terms of spelling and grammar, but is too short to draw the reader in. The ending was a bit predictable and the dialogue (towards the end) was a little stiff. Theta's partner didn't seem to serve much of a purpose other than to create a scene for the first chapter. And I think the storyline could have been explored a lot more. I think this story has plenty of potential if worked on and expanded.
Author's response
Just wondering: If thisn't a story that a reader would be interested in, then why have you read the last chapter??