A couple of points....
According to the early Destroyer books, Remo was physically unable to eat anything but plain steamed rice and unseasoned duck or fish. Later in his training, he was able to eat other foods, as his body was able to filter out the "poisons" of things like cheeseburgers and steaks.
Also, if Harry ever gets tired of the physical allure he exudes, he can always try Remo's solution...
Shark meat.
As for your story itself...you're doing a good job so far. Chapter length is still too short, in my opinion, but hey, you can't have everything.
Other than one or two minor typos that you missed, and the fact that this shows up as 'Chapter 5' rather than 'Chapter 3' on the list, I'll give you two thumbs up!
Author's response
- All that 'turning off the allure' and 'Remo can eat what he wants' stuff came after Warren Murphy left the series, and quite frankly I don't consider them canon, call me a purist, but if it didn't happen in the first 85 books, it isn't canon (to me)
- I saw that 'chapter 5' thing myself. No idea why it's doing that.