(#) Vanir 2009-01-13
I like it. It's cliché.
Everything in Harry Potter is, these days and he's the most clichéd of all. This story has a great mix of interesting ones. I'm repeating my previous advice: Keep the Harem down. You've added three people to the menagerie, one of them more or less directly to the Harem, and you're close to the limit for a manageable gallery. Mine grew too quick and large, and now i'm stuck in the Writer's Block From Hell. Just a warning. You need a storyBeta, i think. Someone who can give you the little pushes to move the chapters from good to great. You're very close as is, but there's always room for improvement.
Oh, and you could make Harry a meGamorph. The ability to grow larger or denser. Just because it's scenic like hell but rather pointless.
Doing good!
Vanir