(#) BenRG 2009-01-14
I'm sure that some would accuse you of writing a 'super-Harry' story here. I personally dislike those sorts of stories as it destroys most of the character challenges. However, in this case, you have justifiably created something approaching (but not quite being) a true super-Harry. With his training in Sinanju, Harry is going to be faster, stronger and more capable a fighter than about 99% of the foes he will meet in the wizarding world. However, he is still mortal and fallible, which gives this story is important edge over more clichéd super-Harry stories.
This aside, I have found your writing of a 'world without Harry' quite interesting. It is clear that Dumbledore will continually indulge Snape and the Slytherins out of some senile need to 'not drive the children away'. Susan nearly getting raped was the consequence.
Will this story have any long-term shipping? At this stage, I would say 'no', although Harry might take eitehr Susan or (more likely) Hermione as a lover for the length of the assignment to Hogwarts, the life of an international assassin-for-hire does not lend itself to starting a family.
I wonder... is there a clause in Sinanju contracts that allows for the termination of a client if they attempt deception or betrayal? If so, Dumbledore could be in trouble.
BenRG's Rating: 8/10
Author's response
- In fairness, most of the challenges that Sinanju!Harry is facing comes from the 'light' side of the equation...
- That and Malfoy senior protected Draco from the consequences of his actions... I just realized I forgot to have Harry bitch slap Wrong Hole around in chapter three... I'll have to work on that.
- No, no shipping. Harry is there for a job and not looking for an attachment. Plenty of time for that later. Which isn't to say he isn't going to practice with all the girls willing to work out with him...
- Hell, there are clauses in the Sinanju contract that makes annoying the master fatal. Apprentices can be annoyed at will, but you payment had best be in full and on time.